A Year of Positives

Liquid Brain Storm

2010-01-26T22:46:00.002-05:00

Hey! We're back. At least for today, at least for this entry. Will it continue? Don't know. I'm not putting any expectations on this thing anymore. It's now an organic continuum. Feel free to read any meaning you'd like into that phrase.

I'm a believer. If you need to kick start the creative process, head down to your local tavern with at least one like-minded person and have a beer. Or two. Two is better. It's truly the best way to get your juices flowing. The alcohol loosens you up, the atmosphere pulls you out of yourself, and the company keeps the dialogue moving.

Don't believe me? Try it. At worst you'll get no results.* At best you'll solve whatever issues are pressing at you. And if nothing else you'll have fun supporting the economy.

*There are actually far worse potential endings than simply not getting any results. You could wind up quarantined in the bar after a fellow patron begins exhibiting symptoms of some heretofore unknown super-virus, forced to eat nothing but peanuts and blooming onions for an untold number of days, ultimately leaving the bar not of your own volition but as a result of your untimely, horrific demise. But this is fairly unlikely.

Positivity Wrapped Up

2010-01-01T15:16:00.005-05:00

Hello followers, thanks for sticking around, we have truly appreciated your support throughout the year. I cannot believe it's now 2010 and that we've managed to complete this experiment to it's fullest. I've never typed this much in my life. I can say that I was only happy with about 60% of my entries which I know is not very positive. But, I'm aware I am not a stellar writer and this brought that more to the surface for me. I prefer to write in fragments, brief thoughts, and poetic verse.

This blog has traveled with me through the start of my photography career, losing my job, nine months of unemployment, my medical assistant pursuit, to my now teaching aspirations, to my new job in day-care, to my beautiful wedding engagement. 2009 couldn't have been more life alternating for me and now I have it completely documented. I've kept up journal writing through most of my younger years and this process has been very therapeutic in that same regard. I feel I know myself better. I feel more confident in my own skin. I think this experiment effected me more deeply than Jason, just because I was writing during such life changing times. I became a stronger person when I was unemployed and got to explore all my passions. I did love and appreciate this experience. I know now that I need calming devises around me when my life gets tense and stressful. Exercise, music, films, and my favorite foods to name a few. I feel more positive, I really do. Whenever I sense Jason getting negative, I catch myself getting negative with him. I don't like when I do this and I'm glad I'm immediately aware of it, so I usually find myself stepping out of the situation and concentrating on the positive.

Top big projects that we need to stay positive about are selling the Towson House, affording all the bills including our two mortgages, getting my teaching certificate and becoming a teacher, getting the city house finished, getting my photography career moving and shaking again, and getting a wedding plans together. We have each other to get through these tough projects. We can achieve anything together.

Things I think of when times get me down: My loving mom and dad, my sister and Allen, and their wonderful growing boys, Kaiden and Blake. My grandmom, who needs positivity more than ever. My new dreams of helping and teaching children achieve and grow. Cooking delicious food with my wonderful fiance, Jason. My new loving family- Jan, David, Steph, John, Lou, Karin, Grandpa, and Jackson. And all of our other family members and friends. Starting a new garden next Spring. Starting any new project with Jason. Finishing our city home together. Being a bride walking down the aisle to my beautiful, kind, heartfelt soon to be husband, Jason.

I love you dear, we can move mountains together. I hope all your writing dreams come true. I believe in you- Stay Positive!

A Year of Positives

2009-12-31T19:05:00.002-05:00

This is it. My last entry for the year. I'm amazed that the experiment is nearly over. Not only can I not believe that I've written nearly 365 entries (I know I must have missed a few) for this blog, I can't believe Kate and I managed to come up with topics for the 750-some entries between us.

It wouldn't be true to say that it seems like just yesterday that we started the blog. Granted the year flew by, but I was aware of the passage of time, and I think both of us were always aware of the obligation we made to each other. We were always focused on making sure our blog entries got written each day. And I can remember all of the ofttimes difficult brainstorming sessions, when entry ideas weren't low hanging fruit.

But here we are, 365 days after we started our experiment, poised at the precipice of completion. Has the experiment been a success? That's a hard question to answer. No, I'm not so sure how much my outlook on life has changed as a result of the blog. I still find myself leaning pessimistic sometimes. And, oddly enough, sometimes the process of focusing on the positives of life made the negatives stand out in stronger relief. So I can't say that I've shifted from half-empty to half-full in general, but I can say that I'm more aware of the dichotomy.

That's what I'm taking from this. I think I still favor half empty glasses of milk sometimes, but I've discovered how many half full glasses are out there. And I'm more aware of when I veer towards pessimism and can course correct sometimes. And anytime you become more self-aware, you've made positive progress.

But really more than anything this experiment has helped me realize how much I enjoy writing, and that's a benefit I wasn't expecting. I feel at least that I've gotten better over the course of the year, and realized how important it is for me to get my thoughts out into the written word. And, as a corollary, I've discovered how much I have to say, and how much I'd like to be able to influence public discourse. The more that I write about the issues that are important to me, the more I discover that needs to be said.

So maybe I'm entering a new phase of activism for the public good. If I don't lose momentum I can see that as my logical next-step. And I think it will feel really good, writing in an effort to affect change. We'll see. On that front, who knows how powerful this blog experiences has been?

I am sorry to see it end. I won't miss the constant pressure to write daily entries, but I will miss the routine. So keep following us. We may not enter as often in the coming year, but we may keep up the practice. Happy New Year!!

When Your Beard is the Perfect Length

2009-12-31T12:12:00.003-05:00

Those of you who can grow facial hair will relate to what I'm about to say. There is a perfect length that usually hits between four days and two weeks of growth, where your facial hair length is long enough to feel like a beard, and not just stubble, but not so long that it starts curling back on itself and starts itching your face. It's where all the individual hairs line up in perfect unison, like a facial pelt. That is the perfect beard.

There is something reassuring about this beard state. It's like a soft, warm blanket for your face. It encourages you to stroke your chin, which not only makes you appear more thoughtful and intelligent, it also depletes nervous energy, freeing your mind from stress, actually rendering you more thoughtful and (potentially) more intelligent.

Over this vacation I haven't been shaving regularly, and just today I discovered I'm enjoying entry into this magic hour of beard growth. It's perfect. I'll be able to ride this period of perfection out till Sunday, right about when my beard might start turning on me, and then shave for work on Monday.

Snow

2009-12-31T11:16:00.004-05:00

Even though I'm not the biggest fan of rolling around in it I have to say that snow is beautiful. When you wake up and look outside to see the ground covered in a beautiful white cover it's just so beautiful. Watching the snow flakes fall from the sky is so miraculous. It's one of natures true miracles. I'm glad to live somewhere that fully has all seasons. It wouldn't be Fall without the leaves changing color and it wouldn't be Winter without snow. It was great waking up this morning with snow covering the ground. This New Year's Eve is going to be memorable.

2010 Resolutions Part 2

2009-12-30T10:27:00.003-05:00

My next New Years resolution will be to stop biting and chewing my fingers and finger nails. I've had this nasty habit my whole life and now it's time I stopped. I have this beautiful ring on my hand now and it needs beautiful hands surrounding it. We'll see if documenting this will actually make this happen, it's going to be tough. Whenever I'm stressed I go straight to my nails. It would be such a wonderful thing to have pretty nails as I walk down the aisle. And no, we have not set a date yet nor do we have any plans made.

Nuclear Power: The Thorium Revolution

2009-12-29T23:39:00.004-05:00

I've written in support of nuclear power before, and I stand by all of that, but I just read an exciting article that introduced me to a whole new type of nuclear power which seems to be the answer to the world's energy crisis.

Nuclear power from thorium. Here's a link to the article in Wired magazine.

http://www.wired.com/magazine/2009/12/ff_new_nukes/all/1

Allow me to sum up. Nuclear power is the best bet we have for replacing coal and other fossil fuels. It's safe (with today's technology), relatively inexpensive, and clean...except for all the dangerous nuclear waste. And that's no trivial issue. Nuclear waste requires hundreds of thousands of years to decay to the point that it is no longer dangerous. Finding a place to keep it safe that long reliably is difficult, as is transporting the waste to storage fascilities. And all the while there is the very real possibility that the waste could be weaponized, if highjacked.

Thorium solves all of these problems...a little bit of history.

Thorium reactor technology dates back to the '50s. It was being developed simultaneously with the uranium-based reactors currently forming the core of the nuclear power industry. Oddly enough it was one of thorium's benefits that caused it to be ruled out. Thorium-based reactors produce very little waste because of thorium's low radioactivity and the fact that it can support a very long chain-reaction. Uranium on the other hand produces plenty of radioactive waste, some in the form of plutonium, an element commonly used in the construction of nuclear weapons. Since nuclear energy and nuclear weaponry were developing in tandem, the U.S. government favored uranium, as it supported both efforts.

So thorium technology was scrapped. But it's making a resurgence now, thanks to a dogged band of scientists. Here are Thorium's benefits over standard uranium reactors.

It's a carbon-free energy platform, just like its uranium cousin, but...
It produces very minuscule amounts waste compared to uranium. Waste that requires only hundreds, not hundreds of thousands of years to decay.
It's very common in nature, and given the small amount needed for reactions, the supply is nearly limitless. Just the amount that's stockpiled by the U.S. right now could power the entire country for a thousand years.
It creates a very efficient, long lived chain-reaction, meaning that very little is needed to produce large amounts of power.
And because it's common in nature and extremely efficient, it's a very inexpensive way to produce power. Per gigawatt of power output a uranium reactor requires 250 tons of raw uranium at a cost of 50 to 60 million dollars. A thorium reactor, per the same gigawatt of power output, requires only 1 ton of raw thorium, at a cost of only $10,000.
Because of the nature of its chain-reaction contained in specially engineered reactors, thorium is infinitely safer than uranium. It's self-regulating, meaning that if it begins to overheat it loses part of its mass, dropping the temperature automatically, returning the reaction to safe limits. Then chance of a meltdown is entirely eliminated.
A standard uranium reactor requires 200,000 to 300,000 square feet of space, plus a low-population density buffer area surrounding it, in case of meltdown. A thorium reactor has no meltdown risk, so no buffer area is necessary, and the reactor only requires 2,000 to 3,000 square feet to be built.
There is no nuclear weapons proliferation risk with thorium. Its waste is minuscule and cannot be weaponized. This is not true with uranium.

You don't need to be a nuclear physicist to see that the benefits are staggering compared to standard nuclear power, coal power, and even other green power initiatives like wind, water, and biofuel.

I'd recommend you read the attached article. It's very, very exciting stuff.

Chemicals and Biology: A Love Story

2009-12-29T11:13:00.002-05:00

I knew this was coming. After all the shoveling I did during the "Large Snow Event" a week ago, the baggage lugging for our Florida trip, and the help I gave moving Kate's parents into their new house, I knew a back-tastrophy was potentially lurking around the corner. And I was fine until around 2:30 yesterday when an innocent hands-over-the-head stretch snapped something, causing the usual muscular ripple effect, locking up everything in my neck and upper back.

So, like many love stories, this one starts with heartbreak, or at least backache. Thankfully we understand so much about our biology we've been able to develop a huge battery of chemicals tailored toward specific restorative purposes, chemicals we're all come to depend on and...love.

My particular sweethearts right now are Prednisone, a steroidal anti-spasmodic and anti-inflammatory, Flexeril, and muscle-relaxant, and Vicodine, a Hydrocodone and Tylenol based pain-reliever. These three made sweet love to my biological processes yesterday and made it at least possible for me to sleep last night. Today I'm still bound up pretty bad, but the spasming has stopped for the most part. I'm about to take my next dose of Prednisone, followed by a Vicodine/Flexeril cocktail.

Oh, my little chemical menders, how I love thee. Let me count the ways...1 *swallow* - 2 *swallow* - 3 *swallow*....

Mama's Recipes

2009-12-29T11:08:00.003-05:00

I love making recipes pasted down from my mom. She will tell you herself that she does not enjoy cooking, but she does have a few recipes up her sleeve that are just delicious. Yesterday I made her creamed chicken casserole and it turned out wonderfully. It's so creamy and delicious, it has always been on the top of my favorite food list. I changed it up some my adding fresh steamed cauliflower and by adding spices like onion and garlic powder. You always cook up some buttery rolls to go with it. It's kind of like chicken pot pie when everything comes together. Thanks mom for passing these wonderful creations down to me we can't get enough of them.

Other top Mom Recipes:
Creamed Spinach
Tuna Noodle Casserole
Broccoli Casserole

The Good Ending

2009-12-28T10:42:00.002-05:00

Good endings are hard to come by. So many times I watch a film all the way through and it ends on a horrible note. That can just kill a movie for me. Why is it so hard to end a film on a bang? Last night we watched the b-horror film Drag Me to Hell. It was campy, nasty, and all around good fun. Sam Raimi is back to doing his cult horror style. The film had a great ending, one I'll never forget. It just really came together superbly. Thanks Raimi for bringing back the b-horror. Allison Lohman did an excellent job and the scary old woman was gross and very scary. Loved it!

Drag Me To Hell - Theatrical Trailer | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

A Positive, Broadly Defined

2009-12-28T00:13:00.007-05:00

Pickled cucumbers are called pickles. Pickled tomatoes are called...pickled tomatoes. Pickled eggs are called pickled eggs. In fact every other pickled food, from pickled pigs feet to pickled turkey gizzards all fall into the "pickled -object-" nomenclature.

We must assume from this that cucumbers were the very first object ever to be pickled. Why else would their pickled counterpart deserve the singular title, "pickle"? Clearly mankind cut its pickling teeth on cucumbers, and then moved on to trickier foods like asparagus, beets, cabbage, chicken feet and probably in certain Asian countries, dogs and cats.

Which all begs the question. If dogs had been the first "edible" to be pickled, would we call those delicate pickled morsels "pickles"? I think we would. Pickles would in turn be horrifying food items never found on American grocery store shelves, and companies like Vlasic and Claussen (Kraft Foods) would be famous for manufacturing pickled cucumbers, not pickles.

The lesson here, and I think we can all agree on this, is that it's an extremely positive thing that pickles are not brined, preserved puppy dogs.

*It turns out that, strictly defined, "pickle" refers to any brined, spiced, preserved food item. So if you pickle something, strictly speaking, it's a pickle. A pickled doberman is just as much a pickle as an egg or a cucumber. Whether the cucumber was the first food to be pickled isn't so much at issue. But it is the most popular pickled food and has, as a result, become the only one favored in common parlance with the designation, "pickle."

I've never eaten a pickled pup, but I have had pickled eggs, pigs feet and tomatoes, and I'm quite clear on why cucumbers dominate the pickled products market. The eggs especially are #$%@ awful!

2010: "Twenty Ten" Has Only Three Syllables

2009-12-27T01:46:00.003-05:00

I'm looking forward to the turn of the new year for multiple reasons, but one of them is purely linguistic. "Two Thousand and Nine" has five syllables. It's a mouthful, as has been every year for the last decade. "Twenty" is a much speedier way of saying "Two Thousand", but it hasn't worked for the last ten years. Saying "Twenty Nine" is confusing and makes you sound like you've gone two thousand years back in time.* But with "Twenty Ten" we can finally get back to the proper year designations we were used to in the 20th Century.

Start practicing now. Don't be one of "those people" still using the "two thousand" designation into the double digit suffix period. You'll sound silly, or worse, pretentious. It will elicit the same response from people that you get today when you begin an email with, "This is just an FYI" (FYI stands for "For Your Information"...it's not a noun. Get rid of the "an".)

"Twenty Ten". It's cool. It's efficient. It's the future. In five days.

*People could have said, "Twenty Oh Nine". That was good enough for the first decade of every previous century, and it would have been one less syllable. But that wasn't dramatic enough for people obsessed with the millennial switch. "Twenty Oh One: A Space Odyssey" doesn't pop nearly as well as "Two thousand and one." I'm sure it's the newness of the experience, because I know I've heard people refer to the year 1009 as, "the year Ten Oh Nine".

A Nice Climactic Surprise

2009-12-27T01:21:00.003-05:00

Most of you know that Kate and I flew out Sunday morning for Florida at the end of the "Large Snow Event" of 2009. It took a lot of shoveling to make sure that one of our cars was free of snow and accessible for the trip to the airport. In the process of digging out one car, I worsened things for the second, which happened to be parked directly behind the first, moving snow from the one onto the other. Really for lack of any place better or more easily accessible to put it. By the end of my efforts and the work of Baltimore City's snow plows, Kate's truck was buried under and fenced in by at least two and a half feet of snow.

So we got out and had a great time in Florida. But hanging over my head the whole time was the knowledge (I thought) that once we got back to Baltimore I'd have to dig the truck out of what at that point, through partial thaws and refreezes, would be at least two feet of heavy ice. But I wasn't following Baltimore weather (mostly because I was enjoying the 70 degree days Greater Tampa had to offer.)

Had I been following I wouldn't have been as surprised as I was when we got home from the airport, afraid that we might not even find a dug-out parking space, to find nearly all of the snow from the previous weekend melted and gone. Parking wasn't a problem, and by mid-day today, Kate's truck was completely devoid of snow. Mother Nature, in a week, had taken care of for me what I'd imagined was going to be a torturous job. It was a great way to cap off a great trip.

DS Lite

2009-12-27T00:32:00.004-05:00

Let me first preface by saying that Jason and I weren't going to mention that we bought each other presents for Christmas/Hanukkah since money was slim this year and very few people got gifts from us, but we did end up getting each other something small. Our 4 year anniversary is coming up in a couple days as well and we aren't probably doing anything, but going out for a cheap dinner.

Anyways, we got each other gifts- I got him this painting he's had his eye on at the Renaissance Festival for years and he got me a used Nintendo DS Lite. It's a portable gaming device that I absolutely love. He bought me the red one, since he knows that's one of my favorite colors. We played it together throughout our travels the past week and it was a blast. We got this game called Scribblenauts that's so much fun. You are tasked to solve these puzzles and actions and you type in any object and it will just appear. It's hard to explain, but very interesting and a blast to play.

Anyways I love my gift babe, oh and I love the ring you gave me even more. It's hard to keep my eyes off its sparkle as I play my games.

A Perfect Christmas

2009-12-26T11:09:00.004-05:00

Christmas this year was perfect. It was wonderful being with my whole family. We had great laughs, yummy food, and love all around. The boys are growing up so fast and I played with them every chance I had. I hope we get to all see each other again soon. My folks are so happy in there new house and I am so happy to see them so happy. I love you all and want to thank you all for making Christmas so memorable and joyous this year. Hugs and kisses to mom, dad, Kerri, Allen, Kaiden, and Blake.

The Same Sense of Wonder, But With Candles

2009-12-24T23:08:00.004-05:00

I hadn't really thought much about this in years past, but having a nephew, and soon-to-be nephews-in-law, I've started giving thought to how I'd handle the holidays for my own kids. And it's gotten me thinking about my childhood memories.

We had no tree, of course. Instead we had a Menorah, a ceremonial candelabra, with candles for each of the eight days of Hanukkah. And instead of putting all the presents out in one shot like the parents of my Christian friends, my parents gave us one or two presents a night for the length of the holiday.

On the one hand it was frustrating. Of course all my sister and I wanted to do was open everything at once. The forced waiting was such a burden on our child mind desires. Former Christian kids...imagine having all your presents sitting under the tree, but having to open them one or two at a time for eight days. The suspense and longing kills you!

But, at the same time, long after my Christian friends had blown through the fun of opening presents, Steph and I were still enjoying the experience. We got eight times the present opening ceremony. And there was a fun sort of suspense once you accepted the fact that you had to wait. You knew you had a full week to open a new toy or two each day. That was kind of cool, and is a good memory now that I'm grown.

What would I like to do for my kids? I think I'd like to take all the best facets of every holiday practice and mash them all up into one uber-holiday. We'd have a tree, put up lights around the house, and burn a menorah. We'd probably do the presents in one blast, but still burn the candles for eight days. If there are any cool traditions from other practices that I haven't yet learned about, maybe we'd roll them in, too. The point of the holidays, for me is togetherness, sharing and fun. Whatever we can do to create great memories, that's what we'll do.

Little Wonderland

2009-12-24T22:45:00.005-05:00

I love the Christmas tradition of setting up the presents under the tree while the little ones sleep. I can't wait to see the expressions on my nephews faces tomorrow morning. It's the best! I wish Christmas was still that surprising and fun as an adult, but I guess that's why you have kids to feel that sense of wonder and fun through their experiences. They are going to be the happiest little boys tomorrow.

My folks used to set all the toys up for us, so when we came down Christmas morning all the toys would be ready to play with. It was like entering your own little wonderland. Maybe I'll do the same for my kids.

The Florida Temperature

2009-12-24T10:07:00.003-05:00

The weather in Florida is incredible. It's around 70 degrees right now and it's Christmas Eve! I really do love it. When we have money I wouldn't be opposed to spending our Winters in Florida. I do love watching the seasons change in Baltimore, so I would like to stay there during the Spring, Fall, and Summer months, but Winter in Florida is where it's at. I'm not missing 20 degree temps and snow on the ground. I wish we could stay here for the next two months.

Rat Terriers

2009-12-24T09:02:00.005-05:00

I'm not a dog person, but I do have a short list of dogs I'd own if I were ever forcibly in that position. And this week I've met a new breed that gets bumped up to the top. Kerri and Allen's new dog Single is a Rat Terrier, and has the best temperament I've ever seen on a dog. You take her outside and she runs around and plays. She'll wrestle with the kids one moment but then plop down in your lap the next. She seems to have everything I'd want in a dog; loyalty, train-ability, the ability to lounge around with her, without everything I dislike. She only barely has that "dog smell", even unbathed, almost never barks, and while she does get excited and have fun, she doesn't seem to have a "hyper" mode.

I thought maybe some of Single's characteristics owed to her age more than her breed, but so far my research this morning points squarely toward the latter. Everything I've observed about Single matches the descriptions of the breed, and that's exciting, pointing to the fact that Single isn't a "single" at all, but a good representative of our future Rat Terrier, if we were to ever find ourselves forcibly in that position.

Big Love

2009-12-22T23:51:00.005-05:00

You've all shared all sorts of kind sentiments since our big news and I just wanted to give thanks to all our wonderful family and friends for all their love and support. You are all the best and we are so happy to have you all in our lives. A lot of you had a lot to do the with us being together...Kara, Alicia, Linda, Jim...most of you are from Renegade and welcomed our relationship with open arms. I'm happy to have you all still in our life. Our families have been so warm and loving. Again you all mean the world to us and we cherish each and every one of you. Can't wait to party down with all you at our wedding. And no, we have not set a date yet if you're wondering.

Driving a Minivan Isn't as Bad as You'd Think

2009-12-22T23:38:00.004-05:00

I never imagined myself behind the wheel of a minivan. In fact, on the list of vehicles I'd imagine myself driving, "minivan" comes in at number 147, five below a Soviet-era Russian tank, though edging slightly higher than "the PopeMobile".

But I have to say driving a minivan, at least the specimen I drove tonight is a good experience. Smooth handling, good suspension, and a built in premium sound system (although it only sings "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" over and over again).

So scratch number 147 off the list. Next up, The General Lee.

Contained Fires

2009-12-21T23:28:00.003-05:00

I love a good fire...a good contained fire. Campfire, fireplace fire, candle, candelabra, incense smoulder, or Video On Demand television facsimile of any of the above. But the first two are particular favorites.

There's a fireplace here at Kate's sister and brother-in-law's house, and I "attempted" to make a fire today, sans starter logs or any other helper material. It's really challenging. I've built campfires successfully before, but fireplaces seem to present a heftier challenge. I was happy that I finally got it burning, and kept it burning, albeit in a very limited and unexciting manner (picture a freckle on the log, instead of an all-over tan).

But that's the fun and the beauty of fire. It's controlled chaos. It's difficult to start sometimes, but once burning it is just as difficult to control. But controlled, it's entrancing. Kate and I stayed downstairs in front of the fire after everybody else went to bed and just stared into it. It warms you inside and out.

You may ask why we need a fire in Florida. Yes, it's been in the mid '60s during the day, but it does drop into the 40's at night. And for Floridians, that's 20 below zero. For us it's just a light nip in the air...but it still makes for good fire weather.

Kids are the Best

2009-12-21T22:53:00.003-05:00

It's been so great getting to know my nephews, Kaiden and Blake again. Every time I see them they are so different and more grown up. It's truly amazing how fast they grow. They make me realize more and more that I really fascinated by that age group. I think I'm set on wanting to teach Pre K to 3rd grade. I like when they're young and like to play a lot. I can really tell that my new job is helping me interact and play with my nephews. I think I'm starting to know and understand young minds better. It's just wonderful sharing this quality time with them. They really love playing with Jason and I too.

We went to Kaiden's class Christmas Party today. I got to watch the teachers in action and witness a young classroom environment. It was very insightful and looked like something I could really do and enjoy.

Kaiden and Blake, you are two awesome little boys and I'm so happy to be here to get to spend Christmas with you all.

My Ring

2009-12-20T23:13:00.002-05:00

My ring is beautiful, I've never had something so beautiful on my hand before. I felt different all day as I wore it, like I was a new woman. Thank you sweetheart, the ring you picked out for me is simply gorgeous.

Alright I've had a long two days of blizzards, plane rides, engagements, and loud crazy-loving family members. It's time to pass out.

Thanks for all the wonderful kind words. Love to you All!

After That Last Post the Rest of the Year Seems a Little Silly

2009-12-20T23:00:00.002-05:00

I think I'm going to be hard pressed to top my last entry, so I'm not going to try. Ever. This is a quick entry focused on playing things correctly. Simple decisions can have large consequences. We were scheduled to fly out to Florida yesterday at 3PM. Right when the "large snow event" (apparently it wasn't rated as a blizzard) of 2009 was at its peak. Knowing it was coming Friday, we had make the choice whether to reschedule our flight for Sunday morning, at no cost. It meant getting up uncomfortably early, but the alternative seemed far worse. And, as we expected BWI cancelled most flights on Saturday and ultimately shut down entirely.

Come Sunday morning the airport reopened, and the shoveling I did the day before paid off. It was relatively easy to get our car out, get to the airport, and get out of Dodge. What could have been a really painful trip, spent frittering away hours in a locked down airport ended up being a fun, snowed-in Saturday and a smooth, uneventful Sunday flight.

There were also other fringe benefits to being snowed in Saturday, but I'll refer to my last entry for the details.

My Forever Love

2009-12-19T22:26:00.003-05:00

I do....I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Jason, I love you with all my heart.

Kate

2009-12-19T21:45:00.003-05:00

We're nearly done with the year, and with 350-some entries under my belt I haven't written about one of the most positive things in my life. Kate. I mean, I've written about things about her; her photo career, her fashion sense, her family, but I've never written about just her.

Kate has been one of the greatest things to come into my life. She brings out more good in me than I ever knew was there. She's opened up places in my heart that had been dark for a long time. She's made me see just what a relationship can be. Open and fun, without reservation or hesitation. She's given me a broader understanding and experience of love than I've ever had before. She's helped bring me out of myself, and I've become a more social person as a result. She's made me see that jealousy and distrust are not inevitable parts of a long term relationship, as was previously my experience (it wasn't on my end of the relationship, but it only takes one to spoil the group.) She's shown me that trust, while it's something that's earned, must also be given, and I feel like we've both done that for each other.

But more than anything, she's brought me happiness. And in a world where more things seem to go wrong than right, having at least your basic happiness taken care of is worth its weight in gold.

And that's why I wrote this entry. To lock my happiness in.

And that's why I'm getting down on one knee and saying...

VNC

2009-12-19T00:21:00.002-05:00

VNC: Virtual Network Computing. Awesome.

A few weeks ago I got set up with LogMeIn.com, a free site that, using VNC software allows you to remotely control any computer you own, as if you were sitting in front of it, from any other computer, anywhere. It is so useful. For instance, tonight I needed to post an hour and half of footage for client approval. I didn't want to stay at work all night and wait for it, so I came home, logged into my work Mac using LogMeIn and I've been controlling the process from here.

If someone were sitting in front of my work Mac while I was logged in they'd see the mouse cursor moving on its own, opening windows and running programs, all directed by some unseen hand. I had a particularly chilling experience of my own, being on that end of the equation. I was working a night shift about a month ago. It was probably 11:30 at night. I was, and had been for a while already, the only person in the office. Then, out of nowhere the suite next door to mine starts blaring music. Then it stopped. Then started again. It freaked me out! I got up and tentatively poked my head next door. No one there. I walked in and saw the mouse cursor happily zipping around the screen, user absent. I knew then what was going on, but it didn't lesson the shock I'd felt initially.

So VNC is good for getting work done even when you can't be there, and for scaring the snot out of the people that are.

Being a Part of Something

2009-12-18T23:54:00.003-05:00

I have to agree with Kate. The Renegade Holiday party is always a great time. And it's an affirmation that I'm a big part of something special. For some people their job is just their job. But for me it's really become something of an extended family. I've spent five days a week every week with a lot of my fellow Renegades for a decade or more. My friend pool consists mostly of current and former Renegades. It's been a huge part of my life now for 14 years, and I honestly can't imagine life without it.

Sure I have bad, frustrating and all around @#$*%y days. But I have many more good ones. I don't mind getting up and having to do the "daily grind" thing, because I enjoy what I do, most of the time, and I get to spend the day with a lot of really cool people. It's nice to be a part of something where you know everyone has your back, and you're all pushing toward the same goal.

In the time I've been at Renegade I've seen the holiday parties mushroom from a gathering of eight to ten people (employees only) around a small table in a restaurant to huge catered shindigs with upwards of 60 to 70 people in attendance. It's really cool to have been involved with that growth.

Renegade Love

2009-12-18T19:46:00.002-05:00

We went to the Renegade Holiday Party last night and as always it was a blast. I really love a lot of those folks. They know me so well and I really can be myself when I'm around them. It was even more interesting being there as a guest and not an employee. It was bittersweet; at times I was sad not to be part of the family and other times I was happy to have a separate life. I was a lot more open and friendly with everyone, especially the employee's wives and husbands. It was like being part of a new club of outsiders. Jason got trashed and I stayed somewhat sober all night so I could drive him home. I had so many laughs, meaningful conversations, and even got to get my dance on. I really had an amazing time and yes I miss seeing those folks on a daily basis, but it also makes seeing them at the occasional gathering all that more special.

DB is to Most Things as Cockroaches are to Nuclear War

2009-12-16T23:06:00.003-05:00

This cat is a survivor. He's had gastro-intestinal issues his whole life which can cause him a good deal of pain. He's come extremely close to requiring the removal of his colon, a nasty, painful surgery. He has numerous small lumps scattered across his gaunt, slightly dehydrated body that may or may not be cancerous (though we have no reason to think they are.) He'd always, at least in his mind, played second-banana to Banjo, resigning himself to wait for the dregs of feline experience. Lately he hasn't been eating much and has dropped down to four pounds. He was so backed up recently we had to take him to the vet for a procedure that used to be common for him, but one that hasn't been necessary for a while. We'll call it a complete system reboot in a bag.

He came back from that weak and disoriented (he couldn't jump on the bed without falling back to the ground). The medication was confusing him, and his slim diet was doing a number on his system. We started force feeding him soft food, and very soon after that he started eating on his own again. Now he's regaining his strength, his mental stability, a little weight, and is behaving much more like his old self (which was, albeit, a little peculiar, but entirely DB.)

He's sleeping in my lap right now. It's impressive how much this little guy has fought through. His first-banana pal Banjo stopped eating, and it killed him. DB isn't going out that way. In fact, part of me is convinced that he's never going out. He'll just continue year after year, ad infinitum to be the same crusty, lovable, pain-embracing nutjob he's always been. The Doob abides.

This One Makes Me Smile, Too

2009-12-16T22:53:00.002-05:00

I found this in a friends Facebook stream. His accompanying note read something along the lines of, "This one makes me smile everytime I watch it" and I have to agree. You can't help but love this. It's good old goofy, freaky fun. And apparently it's created by MICA students. Garrett Davis wrote the music and animated the film with the help of Kirsten Lepore. I bandy their names around as if I know them, but I don't. But I have walked down sidewalks that they've likely walked as well.

Story from North America from Kirsten Lepore on Vimeo.

Family and Florida, Only 2 Days Away

2009-12-16T22:18:00.003-05:00

I am counting down the days that I get to see my family in Florida. It's going to be such a fabulous visit. It's been six months since I've seen any of them. My nephews are going to be so big and my folks have their new house they get to show off. I'm just so excited. It's going to be in the 60s and 70s while we're there, which is just perfect. This is also going to be a great vacation getaway for Jason and I, we need an exit from reality.I love you guys and can't wait to hug everyone one of you!!

Easy Meal Breaks

2009-12-15T21:14:00.003-05:00

You all know I enjoy to cook, but sometimes I prefer to cook something easy. In cases like this I'll get a Stouffer's Lasagna and just stick it in the oven, steam some veggies, and sometimes cook a rice or potato dish to go with it. It feeds us for a week and everything tastes great.

This week I found another easy meal, Perdue's Oven Ready Seasoned Chicken. Again you just follow the directions and it's ready in two hours. It's really well seasoned and the meat just falls off the bone. To add to the delicious meal I made mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. Everything tastes wonderful together.

I do love to cook, but sometimes it's nice to have a break.

Florida in Winter

2009-12-14T22:58:00.003-05:00

After a very mild and prolonged start to what is predicted to be the most brutal winter in years, it's finally come, and the change happened seemingly overnight. And after this weekend it's likely to get colder.

But I don't care. Kate and I will be spending this coming holiday week with her family in Florida, enjoying sunny, 80 degree weather. Normally I'd rather lance boils on syphilitic donkeys then spend time outside in Florida, especially in the summer and the nine months that surround it (no offense to those that live there...I love seeing you guys, but you've seen what Florida's done to me before.) But the winter is an entirely different matter. Florida in winter is beautiful. Perfection. Good people and perfect weather.

I can't wait to get there.

Christmas Flicks

2009-12-14T22:51:00.005-05:00

I love watching Christmas movies during the holidays. I love the comedies and the one's that make you get teary-eyed. Some of my favorites are National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Elf, All I Want for Christmas, Bad Santa, Die Hard, Love Actually, The Nightmare before Christmas, Scrooged, and It's a Wonderful Life. How the Grinch who Stole Christmas, T'was the Night Before Christmas, and A Charlie Brown Christmas are a few of my favorite animated films. They all get me in the mood for the holidays.

You're probably all wondering how I could have missed A Christmas Story, well I'm not a big fan. The tone of the film makes me feel uneasy which is likely because when I was young I had the flu while watching it and now it turns my stomach some even when I watch it today.

I love the holidays and hope this year is filled with watching some of my favorite holiday films. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

All My Life I've Resisted (Except for the Period Around 1978)...What a Shame!

2009-12-13T22:48:00.006-05:00

I know my parents stuck me in corduroy pants as a kid. I'm sure I've got the pictures to prove it. Corduroy pants and chunky plaid shirts with shoulder-smothering collars cut from larger pieces of fabric than the rest of the shirt combined.

The shirts were a bad idea. And so, I thought, were the pants.

I was so wrong.

I don't know why, but I've been avoiding corduroy for as long as I can remember. I'm not sure what my beef was. I guess I just thought it wasn't me. I wasn't going to be one of those guys (the guys that wore corduroy), though I don't know why I thought those guys were people not to be. None of it really makes sense.

But the real story starts about a week and a half ago. I'd been in desperate need for new pants for a very long time, and Kohl's was holding an "everything in the store at least 50% off, post-Black Friday" sale. I didn't find much I liked. But there were cords, and they were cheap. Cheap enough to take a risk. Believe me though, I dithered. Especially since I was alone, and had no one to talk me into things.

But they looked good on me (relative to other things I've worn in the past, not to the population as a whole.) I was sure of it. I unsheathed my credit card and brought the corduroys home.

And I freaking love them! I don't know if I've ever worn a more comfortable pair of pants. Maybe it's just this brand, or maybe it's every corduroy garment ever fabricated. I don't know...my experience with the fabric is so limited! How can I possibly make up for the 30 misspent years I was mindlessly loafing around in denim and plain cotton blends? I may have to commission an entire wardrobe of the purest corduroy, underwear and shoes included. I'll purchase corduroy sheets, corduroy automobile seat covers and durable corduroy-based floor and wall coverings.

I may have to hop a plane to some third-world country with limited medical oversight and convince doctors to surgically remove my skin and all of my organs of dubious importance and replace them with graft-grade corduroy fabric spun from the effluent of my own lab-cultured stem cells.

It's that comfortable. I wouldn't kid you. I want my brain to be replaced with a sinewy mass of cultured corduroy so I never have to entertain another uncomfortable thought. That just might make up for the harsh treatment I've unwittingly subjected myself to all these years.

Don't be like me. If you're still young, go out and get yourself some corduroy before it's too late. Don't wait until the sandpaper you're currently wrapping yourself in burns away the upper layers of your epidermis, destroying the precious nerve cells nature intended to experience corduroy's comforting caress. Once they're gone, all the corduroy in the world won't save you. Trust me. I almost missed my chance.

But I've found my redemption...praise the Cord!

Hanukkah, a wonderful holiday!

2009-12-13T22:31:00.003-05:00

I had a very pleasant day today celebrating Hanukkah with Jason's family. The day was filled with delicious food, great conversation, beautiful presents, and very lovely people that I'm happy to have in my life.

Thank you Jan, David, and Judy for my wonderful gifts and great company and conversation, Stephanie and John for hosting in your beautiful home and Jackson for being so darn cute. Happy Hanukkah to all!!

Run! The Giant Gorilla Whale is Attacking!

2009-12-13T00:07:00.003-05:00

You're probably familiar with this scenario. You're racking your brain for an idea. Nothing useful is coming so you switch off the internal censors. Now anything is fair game, no matter how stupid. You're letting the impulses jump willy nilly in the hopes that a wandering mind will bump into something you can draw from.

That's how I just came to look up what Godzilla means. Wonder of wonders...fertile ground.

Sorry, it doesn't mean "fertile ground". It's fertile ground for ideas, because what Godzilla does mean makes almost as little sense as "fertile ground". Here's what I found on Answers.com.

The name godzilla is a transliteration of Gojira (ゴジラ, Gojira?), a combination of two Japanese words: gorira (ゴリラ, lit. "gorilla"?) and kujira (クジラ, lit. "whale"?).

Gorilla Whale. Huh.

I mean yes, a whale is a pretty large creature (or can be) that hails from the sea, and a gorilla can stand upright. Put those together and you have a large bipedal creature that is likely to stumble out of the ocean into a major metropolitan city. But it's just as likely enchant you with its beautiful song and then throw feces at you.

Plus Godzilla is a reptile. Both of the animals in question here are mammals. And Godzilla breathes fire, a talent generally held by dragons, which are also reptiles. And like any reptile worth his scales he has vicious claws on his hands and feet. Whales lost their hands and feet 50 million years ago, give or take whatever amount is necessary to make that figure correct. Godzilla has about as much to do with whales and gorillas as the Easter Bunny does with Margaret Thatcher and Wilt Chamberlain.

Asian culture is funny.

2010 Resolution Part 1

2009-12-12T23:59:00.004-05:00

This blog has really made me realize that keeping yourself motivated is the only way to live a happy, energized, and satisfied life. We must continually strive to educate ourselves. Staying healthy keeps you energized to pursue life's next goals. Staying positive and having confidence in yourself keeps you motivated.

My resolution for 2010 will be to continue this attitude. I have a big interview coming up and I must stay on top of my game so that I can get into the residency program. I'm really starting to feel it's the best step I could make for myself. Lately I've been feeling my scared-protective walls forming around me. I'm losing my momentum so I must break down that wall, step up my game and start focusing on my teaching and photography careers with real passion.

I must feel good, stay focused and motivated, and be confident in myself. It's very important to keep studying, learning, and practicing. I need to stay connected with the strong and loving people in your life. Remember to like yourself and be positive. You are Captain Awesome!!

Cirque du Soleil

2009-12-12T11:45:00.003-05:00

I've always hoped to see a Cirque du Soleil show. Whenever I see previews or read about the show descriptions they get my so intrigued. I think I would have enjoyed any of their shows. Crazy acrobatics and contortionists just amaze me.

I just watched an Ellen that had three contortionists from the Cirque du Soleil show, Kooza. They were incredible to watch and seeing a whole show like that live would in indescribable. All their show story lines seem so uniquely beautiful. The shows are filled with drama, dance, music, magic, and sheer unbelievable talent.

Fela Anikulapo Kuti

2009-12-12T10:03:00.002-05:00

Last night Kate and went to see a local band, the Baltimore Afrobeat Society perform. The group has somewhere between 12 and 16 members, most of which play trumpets, saxophones drums and percussion. And last night, as a special show they played nothing by Fela's music. It was pretty amazing.

About 15 years ago or so my friend and old bandmate Dave and his brother (and also former bandmate) Luther introduced me to the music of Fela, and and African music in general. It was a perfect fit at the time, and it's spawned in me a strong affection for the genre. But Fela is a particular favorite and is a perfect character for this blog.

Fela pioneered a style of music he called, "Afrobeat." It was a fusion of African Jazz, American Funk, and certain local African regional styles of music. It was characterized by a powerful horn section, repeating groove elements on the drums and guitars, and a lot of call and response between Fela and his large vocal backing element. Much of his later music was written in pidgin English to play to a wider audience but some was also written in his native language. And his music was highly politically charged.

After coming into contact with the Black Panther movement during a trip to the US in 1969 Fela began a process of radicalization that would ultimately influence the entire African continent. He repeatedly clashed with the military governments in power in his native Nigeria during the 70's and 80's. His compound was attacked repeatedly by government, culminating with a attack that was motivated by the release of "Zombie" an album scathingly critical of the corrupt Nigerian establishment. During the attack Fela was severly beaten, his studio, home and performance space were burned and his elderly mother was thrown from a window, resulting in her death.

But by then Fela was extremely popular with the Nigerian public and across the entire continent. He used his bully pulpit unrelentingly against the government, African subjagation and the decline of African culture. He fought hard for a African unity and a continent-wide Democratic African government. His dreams were never realized fully, but his dedication created a consciousness in the African people, one that continues today. Fela died in 1997, enourmously popular in Africa but without a significant following elsewhere in the world.

That's about to change. The Broadway stint of the musical "Fela!" will bring the story of his life and his music to a world audience that would have never been exposed otherwise. Afrobeat is already experiencing a revival with bands like Antibalas, and the Baltimore Afrobeat Society which we say last night. Fela's son Femi has also taken up the torch, bringing Afrobeat to a new generation of fans.

I can write about this all I want, but until you hear the music you won't have an appreciation of what Fela's music is all about. So...samples.

This is the song "Zombie" of the album of the same name. It uses the zombie metaphor to refer to the mindlessness and ruthlessness of the Nigerian military.

"Black Man's Cry", another favorite.

"Lady". It's only an excerpt, but it gives a good taste.

Clearly Man Needs Something Greater Than Himself

2009-12-11T00:29:00.003-05:00

Mankind needs purpose. We need meaning. We need to believe that there's a reason for our existence. A grand scheme to an otherwise seemingly senseless universe.

I'm not sure why that is. Is it intrinsic to sentience? I think, therefore I am...and I am why exactly? There's plenty of life on this planet that doesn't possess the consciousness to know that it is. So it doesn't question. It just exists. It does what it does without moral judgement and without regard to purpose or meaning. Animals hunt and animals kill. They steal, cheat and lie (in the sense of pretending to be something they're not) and there are no rewards and no punishments apart from survival and death.

We're different. We are all aware, sometimes painfully of the fact that we exist. And especially in the difficult times, when pain and desperation prevail, we innately question our existence, and look for the purpose and the meaning behind our travails. Humanity, as a species simply cannot accept randomness. When things happen to us, good or bad, we imagine the plan positioned around the situation. Especially when that situation is poor we can't help but say to ourselves, "Why me?" On some level we just can't accept that we weren't specifically selected. That things are just happening as opposed to happening to us.

There are really only two overarching narratives that human probing has attempted to illuminate. The first is, "What are we and the universe?", and the second is, "Why do both of these exist?" And both of these questions are informed by and give rise to (or negate) purpose.

I've touched on all of this in earlier entries, but they've all resolved with positive affirmations and relatively clear cut answers. This entry won't follow the same line. And the positive won't be quite as obvious either. In fact I think the positive here is just that a dialogue has been opened. This is the start of a potential conversation. The beginning of a germ of an answer. It won't be warm and fuzzy.

In a nutshell, here's my issue. Atheism, my chosen philosophy, if followed to its logical conclusion strips away any intrinsic meaning to human life, or to life or the universe in general. It destroys the notion of an implicit, divinely inspired moral code. Neither of these are necessarily bad things. They can create an opening to build your own meaning in life and create an ethical system based on the valuation of human life for its own sake. But atheism, if misapplied can lead to some really nasty conclusions. A complete devaluing of individual human life. A "flexible" ethical system that favors some "common good" at the expense of individual citizens. Stalin's Russia is a good example of what atheism can devolve to. Atheism can lead to conflict, conflict to violence, and violence to death.

Theism doesn't fare any better. Religion does one thing well. It creates meaning for everything. Human life, the world, the existence of suffering, etc. Religion ties the entirety of human experience up with a nice tidy bow, perfectly explained and easy to palate. It satisfies our deep need for purpose. And that would be all be fine if there was only one explanation. Problem is there are any number of neat, tidy bows. Every religion explains the same universe differently, with different intrinsic moral codes and different values and ethics. And they all claim to have the lock on ultimate truth. And give man an "ultimate truth" and the moral obligation to enforce it, and you get fanatics. Sometimes entire nations of fanatics. As a result, history is awash in the blood of holy wars, religio-ethnic cleansing, terrorism, forced conversions, intolerance, misplaced hatred and blind devotion. Theism (religion) can lead to conflict, conflict to violence, and violence to death.

So we're damned either way. Both atheism and theism have the potential to do wonderful things for the world, but they also, and often have propagated hideous pain and anguish, death and suffering on massive scales. Clearly our claim to or lack of religion isn't the problem. Both often lead to the same results. It is our own human nature that has to be the problem, and there's no easy solution for that.

I'm an atheist. I don't believe god exists. I've come to that conclusion after considering all the available data. For me it's the only conclusion that makes sense. Others come to very different conclusions. But we're united in one thing. Regardless of how strongly we hold onto our beliefs, that's all they are. We don't know anything for sure. We can't. I can't claim to know that god doesn't exist any more than a religious person can claim to know he does. It's unknowable. That's why the religious talk so much about faith. If one could truly know god's existence status, faith would be unnecessary. And clearly in some sense I have faith. Faith in logic's ability to illuminate truth. Faith in the predictability of a universe guided by physical laws. And faith that god isn't "out there" anywhere. It's not a religious faith because its derived from observation not illumination, but it's still faith.

What we can derive from all of this is that there is an ultimate truth in the universe. One indisputable fact that touches logic and religion, and that is that we can never know where we came from and where we're going. Both religion and science attempt to explain the world. But neither science nor religion can answer these questions without eventually falling back on faith. The is clear with religion. The universe was created by god, most of them say. A simple answer, but it requires a faith in a god whose existence cannot be known, only believed (and this is true whether he actually exists or not, as demonstrated earlier.) So religion is not knowledge, it's faith.

Finding the root of faith in science's explanation for the creation of the universe is a little trickier. Science has teased out the evidence that our universe started some 13 billion years ago at the "Big Bang". Before that all matter everywhere in the universe was contained in a space smaller than an atom, nearly infinitely dense...a singularity. Even time itself was bound up in the singularity, so it's difficult to talk about when the Big Bang occurred, relative to moments before the Bang, as the Big Bang expanded time into something measurable. So what came before the Big Bang? There are countless theories, many very promising and supported by the math and what we know of the physical universe. But, given the nature of the question, and the fact that verification is almost impossible we will probably never know for sure what happened before the Big Bang. Scientists simply have faith that an answer will be found, one that doesn't require metaphysical assumptions.

I noted earlier that there's only two major narratives in the story of our universe. What and why. But the even deeper narrative that bisects both of these questions is, "How did we and the universe come to be?" Your answer to this ultimate question influences your answers in both of the other major human questions.

But neither side, the theists nor the atheists, the scientists nor the clergy have anything but faith as a weapon of last resort. So why are we fighting?! I can't offer ultimate proof for my position anymore than anyone else can. If we all accepted the fact the faith does not equal knowledge we could all move on with our lives...live and let live.

Because clearly we are all going to believe something. It's our nature to have faith without ultimate proof. If we ever want to have any chance of creating peace in our times we need to find a faith we can all agree on. Faith can't be stamped out. To be human is to believe. Instead of fighting over which ultimately unprovable belief is the "right" belief, let's all just accept that none of them, including atheism can be considered right because none of them can ever be proven one way or the other.

Like I said, there's no easy answer to this one.

Sweet n "Saur" Cabbage Soup

2009-12-10T22:36:00.006-05:00

Man oh man, I just made the best soup ever. I never really accomplished a great soup before and now I can say I have. It was a Rachel Ray recipe I saw her make on her 30 Minute Meal show. It looked like it would taste great and be easy to make so I went for it. It was called Sweet n "Saur" (as is sauerkraut) Cabbage Soup. I have never enjoyed sauerkraut by itself, but I knew Jason was a big fan of it so I made it regardless. I knew Jason would love it and I hoped to like it at least. I've really been branching out food wise and thought this would be another taste challenge.

It was all made in one pot, which was fantastic. I would really like to find more soup recipes made in one pot. The main ingredients were ham steak, savoy cabbage, sauerkraut, carrots, onion, canned white beans, and frozen hash browns seasoned with honey, chicken stock, fresh dill, and apple cider. Neither Jason nor I had tried a soup like this. Once it's heated up you mix in a spoonful of sour cream. It was a little hard for my taste buds to handle it at first, I had to really let it develop in my mouth. By the next day I was madly in love with the taste.

It has very German-Polish type favors, which is my ancestry. I'm thinking of making a big batch of it for Christmas for my whole family to enjoy. It would be great to have around when people get peckish. This is one of those -"I have to share entries".

To enjoy the soup for yourself go to:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sweet-n-saur-cabbage-soup-recipe/index.html

People Pay You For That?

2009-12-09T23:35:00.006-05:00

There are jobs that pay real money to real people to spend long hours accomplishing nothing. Jobs that likely consume you, taking over both your professional and personal lives, in the service of make-believe. And I say, as long as they're harmless, I think the world is a more interesting and engaging place for their existence.

One career path particular inspired this entry. Cryptozoology. It sounds like a scientific discipline, and it is, sort of. It's more of a pseudoscience, but its researchers take it very seriously. If you know that zoology is the the study of animals (duh?), then the meaning of Cryptozoology shouldn't be too hard to decipher. Here's a great definition I found online:

Cryptozoology: from Greek κρυπτός, kriptos, "hidden" + zoology; literally, "study of hidden animals") refers to the search for animals which are considered to be legendary or otherwise nonexistent by mainstream biology.

In other words, these guys devote their lives to studying Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, extinct fish the might still be swimming around somewhere, and hundreds of other mythical animals around the world whose mere existence is eternally in question. And someone pays them for that! They travel the world following rumors, hearsay, tale tales and legends, looking for animals that in all likelihood cannot be found anymore then my residual checks for writing this entry.

What a charmed life that must be! Exotic locales, interesting conversations with native tribesman, and hours spent pouring over fanciful reports and literary references in any number of languages. And it's a job you literally cannot fail at. No one really imagines you'll find what you're looking for, so when you don't, you meet expectations. Even if you repeatedly, over a period of years fail to produce any measurable results you'll still have job security. And if you do manage to find one of the animals you're hunting, you're likely elevated to near-deity status.

It's one of the few jobs on the planet you where you can set performance expectations so low that you cannot possibly fall below them. It would be like me delivering three minutes of test pattern to everyone one of our clients for every project they hire us for, and getting praised for my effort.

What other permutations could you throw together that would be equally entertaining? There's the Cryptoarcheologist who spends his time looking for lost civilizations and the Cryptogeologist that labors to create theories where ancient man and dinosaurs live in pockets at the center of the earth. The Cryptometeorologist hunts down forms of precipitation only imagined in books like "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and the Cryptophrenologist searches for hidden meanings in the bumps on people's skulls, new fake hidden meanings the made-up field of Phrenology hasn't yet fabricated.

I could keep tagging Crypto onto every scientific discipline, but I suspect none of the others will be nearly as marginally funny as the four above. The important lesson is that someone gets paid to do these jobs. I should start updating my resume.

Chips, I can never have enough!

2009-12-09T23:04:00.006-05:00

Alright, I have to go to bed and the night is completely getting away from me.

Okay this is lame, but I love potato chips, it's a horrible craving but it's clearly I problem of mine. I've recently switched to the Kettle Brand chip. They are made with all natural ingredients, but they still contain a large amount of fat and calories. I really have it bad for the Sea Salt and Vinegar favored ones, I can go through a whole big bag in one sitting if I didn't have a little self-control, instead it takes me 2 to 3 sittings. Still a very bad habit.

Since my family is originally from Baltimore we always loved Utz Chips out of PA. Favorite flavors are Crab, Sour Cream and Onion, and regular.

Another great chip brand is Dirty Chips. There's a Maui Onion flavor to die for.

Jason Geeks Out, The Final Installment

2009-12-08T23:30:00.005-05:00

I may be jumping the gun, but given that we only have 24 entries left, including this one, I suspect it will be the last of the series. So it's fitting then that the end brings us back around to the beginning. Board games.

I've been researching board game mechanics and jotting down notes for a few concepts I have percolating. The list of game mechanics types is pretty long, which I guess isn't that surprising given the number of games available today. In case you're interested, here's the exhaustive list, courtesy of boardgamegeek.com.

Acting
Action Point Allowance System
Area Control / Area Influence
Area Enclosure
Area Movement
Area-Impulse
Auction/Bidding
Betting/Wagering
Campaign/Battle Card Driven
Card Drafting
Chit-Pull System
Co-operative Play
Commodity Speculation
Crayon Rail System
Dice Rolling
Hand Management
Hex-and-Counter
Line Drawing
Memory
Modular Board
Paper-and-Pencil
Partnerships
Pattern Building
Pattern Recognition
Pick-up and Deliver
Point to Point Movement
Rock-Paper-Scissors
Role Playing
Roll and Move
Route/Network Building
Secret Unit Deployment
Set Collection
Simulation
Simultaneous Action Selection
Singing
Stock Holding
Storytelling
Tile Placement
Trading
Trick-taking
Variable Phase Order
Variable Player Powers
Voting
Worker Placement

Now if you're a regular reader of this blog I suspect you read at most the top ten entries in this list and then jumped to the bottom. I don't blame you. It was a boring list, and it was really only tenuously connected to the topic of this entry.

In my research I came across what could be the Holy Grail of board game sites. BrettspielWelt (http://www.brettspielwelt.de), a German site (which exists in a number of languages) that allows people from around the world to play each other online in major commercial board games (major board games for board game geeks, like Carcassone, Power Grid, and The Settlers of Catan...you won't find Monopoly, Clue, or Battleship here.*) And it's free. I downloaded the client and started looking around, though I doubt I'll have the time to play anytime soon.

For me, it's great. We have friends and family that like board games, but we've never actually pulled together a game night. So I have all these games sitting on a shelf and never play them. Kate and I occasionally play the few that work with two players, but there are so many (not that many, really) that I've never played once. I may now finally get the chance.

The excitement builds, and the geek in me threatens to explode out of my chest.

*Not that there's anything wrong with those games. I like them a lot as well.

Laughing Babies

2009-12-08T22:06:00.003-05:00

Babies laughing is another wonderful therapy and it's one of the benefits of working where I work. Babies giggle and laugh to about anything you can think of and seeing and hearing them all day just puts a smile on my face.

When I'm trying to get a baby to sleep and all they keep doing is smiling and looking at me with there big eyes, it's so hard to not pick them up and play with them. Their laughs and happy expressions are so joyous and unlike adults you know they are being completely genuine.

To be a kid again and be entertained by anything imaginable would be so incredible. I wish we could all live a carefree childlike life forever, where all you have to do all day is eat, dance, laugh, and play.

How is There an Overage?*

2009-12-07T23:59:00.005-05:00

An aside first. This entry will be our 707th entry for the year. There are 365 days in 2009, which should equate to 730 entries between Kate and I by years end. But starting tomorrow we have 24 more day in the year. That's 48 additional entries added to the 707 already existing, for a grand total of 755 entries. To my knowledge we've never written extra entries. In fact Kate missed one or two while traveling in New York a few months ago without a computer or internet access. So how did we manage to write 25 extra entries? That's just over two extra entries a month (which I guess is potentially just one extra entry a month from each of us.)

I thought we'd been keeping pretty careful track of entries, making sure not to miss any if at all possible. I guess in our effort to stay current we ended up unwittingly writing a lot of unnecessary, extra entries...actually...hold on one second. I'll be right back.

[Jaunty music, popular in your day plays while you wait.]

Okay...nevermind. I'm not going delete everything I've just written because I took the time to write it, but it's totally wrong. It occurred to me (right before the jaunty music started) that there might be some unpublished drafts hanging out in total, and there were. And 28 of them were copies of the same draft that resulted from a Blogger error months ago. There were 33 total drafts, dropping our projected total at the end of the year to 722. So in fact we've missed eight entries for the year. Surprising, but nothing to feel disappointed over, considering the total number that were written. I feel better now. The riddle has been solved and I've set history straight.

On to my positive for this evening...

We've only missed eight entries out of our 730 entry goal (assuming we don't miss anymore, and I don't think we will)! I feel pretty good about that.

*There isn't. And I guess the above "aside" wasn't an aside at all. Sorry for all the misrepresentations. I'll turn the music back on if it will make you feel any better.

People Connections

2009-12-07T22:03:00.003-05:00

I like when the friendly comfortable feeling starts forming with a new acquaintance. It's a good feeling knowing that you can still open up and let new people into your life. And it's fascinating meeting someone new and listening to them tell you about there life. You start learning something new immediately and start gaining a sense a true internal growth.

I'm referring mostly to my relationship with my new co-workers, Victoria and Jenn. They are lovely people, they're both very different from myself, but similar in many ways as well. New relationships are a great way to broaden your horizons. And feeling a new connection is emotionally and physically rewarding.

Advise is Precious

2009-12-07T10:22:00.002-05:00

I really wish I had a talent to give good advise all the time. It's hard to be comforting and understanding all the time. I admire psychologists who can listen and give humbly advise constantly.

My friend Brooke had her show this weekend and she was not happy about how it turned out, so much that she was beating herself up. I just wish I would have been able to give her better advise and make her feel better about herself and her show. It really was a funny show, yes some of the comedians were not team players, but that wasn't her fault. They are professionals and they should act like it.

My positive for this blog entry is the admiration I have for people who are give unconditional advise to folks in need. The people that people go to when they need to talk and know they will feel better about themselves afterwards. I wish I had that ability and I'm grateful for those kind of people that exist. Maybe one day I will have all the correct answers, I will strive to be that attentive and understanding.

Something New to Appreciate Planet Earth For

2009-12-07T00:16:00.003-05:00

I learned something new today. There is a good deal of evidence that 650 million years ago this planet underwent the worst ice age it has ever seen. An ice age that covered the entire planet, from pole to pole in a solid sheet of ice up to 1,000 feet thick.

We enter an ice age roughly every 100,000 years. Generally they follow the same story. The earth's orbit slowly takes it further and further away from the sun, gradually dropping temperatures globally. The polar ice caps begin to spread toward the equator, though they never get there. They always stop quite a distance away as the planet slowly returns to its position nearer to the sun. But this ice age was different. Not only was the planet further from the sun, it also, through various reasons that would take too long to explain here, was losing vast quantities of CO2 out of the atmosphere, locking it in limestone deposits beneath the ocean. CO2, a greenhouse gas, normally helps the atmosphere warm and retain heat. So much was being stripped from the atmosphere temperatures plummeted. The ice spread from the poles much faster than it ever had before, or has since.

And here's the wild part. Snow covered glacial ice is the best reflector of the suns rays on the planet, reflecting nearly all of the sun's energy back into space. Ocean water is the poorest reflector, absorbing far more heat than it reflects back. So as the glaciers spread across the planet, glacial ice replacing ocean water, the planet reflected more and more heat back into space. Eventually it reached a critical mass, creating a runaway, self-perpetuating cooling event. The less liquid water there was the less heat the planet retained cooling the planet further, creating more ice, which replaced even more of the liquid water. In no time (cosmically speaking) earth was completely locked in ice, a giant snowball hurtling around a sun that was powerless to help it.

The planet stayed like that for millions of years. Eventually volcanic activity below earth's surface, which ebbs and flows entered a very active period. Over a span of about a million years volcanoes, which emit large quantities of CO2, gave off enough of the greenhouse gas to get the planet warming again. And as more ice melted and more water was released the planet retained more heat and thawed ever faster. Eventually the ice age to end all ice ages was over.

Now here's the really cool part. Before this global freeze life had been evolving on the planet for nearly three billion years. And in that time it hadn't gotten beyond single-celled organisms. These organisms were trapped below (and in) the ice. They either had to adapt or die. Those that did survive were truly the heartiest of the hearty. The cream of the genetic coffee. When the ice finally melted the earth saw the biggest boom in evolution that had ever occurred. It helped that the chemistry involved in a global, prolonged freeze / thaw created more oxygen than had ever existed in the atmosphere before (oxygen levels in the air went from 1% to %20). The hearty survivors of the global ice holocaust, in the newly-created, oxygen rich world went wild. For the first time in three billion years multi-cellular creatures appeared. And in what is called the Cambrian Explosion, multi-cellular life...exploded. After three billion years of stagnancy, huge numbers of complex life forms begin appearing in the fossil record over a period of only 80 million years.

The global freeze had the potential to wipe out all life, such as it was, on earth. Instead it ended up kick-starting evolution, creating a massive diversity of life forms that eventually led to us. It's very possible that had this massive ice age never occurred earth would still be a planet dominated by single cell "slime" life. So give thanks to the universe's unforgiving nature. Had it been kinder to our planet we'd likely not be here.

Designing a Board Game

2009-12-06T00:48:00.002-05:00

It's an odd hobby, I know, but it's one I can't seem to shake. I really, REALLY want to gestate and finish a fun, playable, salable game. I've got a few ideas, one of which I wrote about in a previous entry (it involved Zombies.) But I've yet to finish one completely. Most of them are still in concept stage, in various states of not anywhere near finished. A few days ago I had loose idea for a strategy game and a much more concrete concept for the board it would be played on. I designed the board in Photoshop, broke it into four pieces, printed those as large as possible on four sheets of paper and the taped them together into a near full size game board.

At which point I realized that the intended game was crap.

But that's the challenge. Broad concepting is easy. Narrowing that down to compelling, playable mechanics is entirely different.

I don't know what the attraction is. I guess, for me, the game of designing a game, and the mental gymnastics that go with it is nearly as much fun as the games themselves. Plus I think I just want to prove to myself that I can do it.

No luck so far, but I'm unfazed.

Pain Relievers

2009-12-05T15:08:00.002-05:00

Any medication that takes away pain for even a short amount of time is a blessing. I had the worse stomachs cramps last night, so bad that I was up at 5am, 7am, 9am, and then finally woke up at 12pm. I took Pepto a couple times and the pain would subside enough for me to get a couple hours of sleep here and there. Jason went out and got me Gas-x and since I took two of them my pain hasn't come back. I'm now heading to NYC for a short trip to see Brooke with my Gas-X in hand. I think I'll be alright, thanks for pain relievers.

Can An Infrequent Negative Be Considered a Positive?

2009-12-05T00:10:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure the answer. I've been sitting here for about ten minutes or so, pondering an entry topic. All the while a rave party is raging next door. College kids. They're actually a good group of guys. They always stop by ahead of time to make sure we're good with their plans, and they've given us their phone number in case things get too loud. And they do, but not so much that we can't deal with it. And they happen very infrequently, so I thought, "Count your blessings, Jason. Surely it's a positive thing that you only have to put up with the noise occasionally."

But is that positive? I'm not sure. Is it a positive thing that you only painfully bite your lip occasionally? Nobody wants to bite their lip. Even though the pain is fleeting, it is intense for that brief moment, and you'd avoid the experience if you could. So could even one instance of biting you lip be considered positive?

I suppose on the one hand it is. Chance are that eventually you're going to bite your lip. It's inevitable. So, accepting that a life without painfully bitten lips is impossible, the positivity of the situation escalates the less frequently this unfortunate situation occurs. The less often you can manage to experience inevitable pain, the more positive you should feel about it.

It's the same with any uncontrollable, accidental occurrence. Even if you can't predict exactly what the accident or random badness will be, you know that occasional bad luck is inevitable. So experiencing those flashes of nastiness infrequently is positive.

But in the case of loud frat parties I'm not sure the same logic holds. You can control whether things like that happen. If I wanted to be a total $#@%, I could tell my neighbors that I've got no tolerance for blaring music, and if they do it, I'll call the cops. I'm not a total $#@%, so I wouldn't and haven't done that, but I could. The point is, while it's impossible not to occasionally stub your toe, it is possible to live house-party free. And if it's possible for a particular negative situation not to ever occur, then even infrequent occurrences really can't be deemed positive.

If getting punched in the face was something you could safely avoid your entire life, then getting punched in the face even once in a lifetime would be negative. If something never has to happen, and it does, that occurrence will always suck. And once in a lifetime is as infrequent as you can get. But getting punched once is negative. Biting your lip once a year is positive.

It probably has more to do with thresholds. For any given negative situation, or really any situation at all (I like ice cream, but I can only each so much) we each have a particular threshold, beyond which we can no longer tolerate things. As long as we stay under that threshold we consider it a win. So my threshold for lip biting far exceeds my threshold for getting kicked in the huevos. To be precise, my threshold for the latter is zero. My house-party threshold is a bit higher, a limit that is raised even higher by the fact my neighbors are considerate enough to warn us. My threshold for losing feeling in my right leg while driving because my wallet is cutting of circulation exceeds the party limit be a good bit. Lip biting comes in just a hair higher than that. And then, on the extreme opposite end of the spectrum my threshold for the dinner we had tonight (and the three nights previous to this one), pasta with awesome homemade meat and veggie sauce, is nearly infinite.

And some thresholds modify others. I'd easily be able to reset my lip-biting threshold to once a day if I could try my hand at besting my limitless pasta eating threshold on a nightly basis. But that would probably cause me to exceed my threshold for the size of my waistline. So clearly none of this exists in a vacuum.

How Cute!

2009-12-04T22:32:00.004-05:00

Baby clothes are so freaking cute. Seeing what outfits the babies come in wearing each day is one of the many highlights. It's amazing the different kind of baby clothes made these days. You can pretty much get any kind of adult clothes in baby sizes. I have even gotten jealous of some of the clothes they have available, such as velcro Chuck All Stars. Cute clothes make the babies look like little people. They are all growing so fast. I would particularly love if I had a girl one day, so I could dress her up in the cutest clothes. Just one of the many things that put a smile on my face everyday.

TED

2009-12-03T22:49:00.003-05:00

Tonight's entry is a shorty. If you've never visited ted.com, check it out. TED: Ideas Worth Sharing bills itself as "Riveting talks by remarkable people, free to the world." It's an apt description. There are short talks by luminaries in every field imaginable delivering really fascinating, groundbreaking ideas. Some of the people you'll know. Many you won't. But you'll be hard-pressed not to find mind-expanding ideas with every click.

I'm not going to try and pick out the talks that I think all of you will find interesting. Everybody has their own bag. I guarantee you though that you'll find a lot to fill yours.

The address is simple, www.ted.com. Everything else is pretty elaborate. Do yourself a favor and check it out sometime.

Mod Cloth

2009-12-03T20:08:00.003-05:00

Let me preface this by saying that I'm aware I don't have any money, so actually shopping online or otherwise is out of the question, but that does not stop me from browsing occasionally to see what's out there.

My co-worker Jenn just told me about modcloth.com, it's an online women's clothing store that I just got done reviewing. The prices are a little on the high side, but they are no where near Anthropology, my last love (I literally was able to buy one dress from there once when my mom got me a gift certificate and it still only covered a 3/4 of the cost, it's that pricey.) I loved almost everything Mod Cloth had, everything was very vintage looking with a modern flare. The dresses and the coats are to die for and each item is so unique.

Maybe one day someone will get me a gift certificate from there so I can afford to buy one dress. Oh, to dream...

Retirement

2009-12-03T00:00:00.003-05:00

One day I'll get to retire. Some days it feels like it can't come soon enough. And it is some time off, probably too far off to think about. But it makes me happy to fantasize about the day when labors cease and Judge Judy becomes a constant companion. Because on that day the world will move with new purpose. Birds will fly higher than they ever have and fish will lie down with sharks. Peace and tranquility will be the order of things as years stretch out in unending bliss. Days will acquire extra hours. Weeks will exist as a continuum. Calenders will become as unnecessary as shoes and electric razors.

Phrases like, "How's things?" and "Keepin' busy?" will no longer be uttered in my presence because the answers will be self evident and unchanging. They'll be "Great!" for the former, and "Yep, gotta go or I'll miss Guiding Light" for the latter. Because how can things be bad when your world is wholly and entirely your own? When you answer only to yourself, your significant other and the Must See TV lineup? When slippers and danish crumbs constitute formal wear and sunlight is something received entirely through double-paned replacement windows, if that's your desire for the day, life has reached its zenith.

C'mon 63 and a half!

Except for that part. I'd prefer to retire at 45. Thankfully, it turns out, beggars can be choosers.*

*No. No they can't. Not unless some well-entrenched publishing house decides to buy the rights to "A Year of Positives", the book. I'm willing to make a deal.

Tree of Lights

2009-12-02T22:41:00.003-05:00

I love the tradition of putting up a Christmas tree every year. We always had fake ones growing up, but it always looked so festive and really got me in the mood for the holidays. I couldn't wait to see presents under the tree. Even as an adult just seeing other people's presents under a tree gets me in a joyous mood. I love seeing just a glimpse of trees through people's windows, it can be so beautiful.

I love the tradition of hanging all the ornaments on the tree. I remember doing this with my mom as a kid and just loving unwrapping all the old ornaments and delicately placing them on the tree until the whole thing was covered with colorful memories and lights.

Jason and I agreed that this year will not be a year of big gift buying, but instead I'm hoping to get a real tree for the first time, just a small one. This small tree will give the house a little taste of holiday magic. That's all I'm asking for this year. I'll buy a string of lights and a few cheap ornaments. This and seeing my family for the holidays is all I want for Christmas.

Being Attentive to the Details

2009-12-01T23:12:00.005-05:00

Bearing in mind that nothing is ever as simple as it seems can save you a good deal of heartache. What I mean is that behind every act, every process, there are levels of complexity lurking to bite you in the butt if you're not mindful of them. I'll give you a good example.

Last week I discovered a leak in our new back rubber roof. After some rooting around I think I narrowed the source. I believe the leak is happening where one of the handrail posts plunges into the roofing material. Given that I can't pull the railing apart I figured I could simply caulk all around the outside, so that no water would ever be able to get under the post's decorative trim to reach the failure point again.

Maybe, I think, there's a caulk better suited than others to the task. After all there's acrylic, silicon, blends of each and a half dozen or so other varieties. I started doing research after a trip to the hardware store revealed that some caulks specifically mention that they shouldn't be used on rubber while others are silent in both directions. Overall I found one type of caulk recommended for rubber roofing systems. Butyl caulk. And because of its VOC content, Butyl caulk has been banned in Maryland. You can't buy it and you can't have it shipped in.

So what do I do? I'm not sure specifically what can or can't be used other than Butyl. I went today to a roofing supply distributor. They recommended Geocel, a brand name representing many different products, one of which, their 2300 caulk, I bought. Again though it was silent on its safety with rubber roofs.

I did more research. Turns out you cannot use silicon-based caulks on rubber. It will dry and flake of. And...Geocel 2300...no good either, it turns out, from what I can piece together. While the Geocel website is somewhat mute on the point (it doesn't list rubber in the 2300's list of potential materials, but it also doesn't warn you against it) I found another reference elsewhere on EPDM rubber roofing that Aromatic Hydrocarbons can be very damaging. Geocel 2300 contains Aromatic Hydrocarbons. So that's out. Geocel does sell a sealant called 4500 however that specifically mentions rubber roofing applications as safe uses for the product.

So tomorrow I'm heading back to ABC to hopefully swap my 2300 for 4500, if they have it. How did they, the experts, manage to sell me the wrong product for my application? The didn't think deeply enough into the details.

It's negative in one sense, I guess, but you really should approach everything as a potential pitfall. Keeping a keen eye out for the myriad of ways things can go wrong will help you avoid making a lot of costly mistakes. Always know, as deeply as possible, what you're doing before you start. You'll still screw things up sometimes, but generally not as badly as you could have otherwise. So in the end it's really a very positive way to approach life. It's a cliche, but it's true. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

After all, who knew how complicated getting the right caulk for my job was going to be? And if I'd used just any caulk I could have created a really horrible situation.

The devil's in the details, after all.*

*This too is cliched. And it is also true.

Super Mario Adventures

2009-12-01T22:01:00.004-05:00

I love all Super Mario Brother video games. It all started with Nintendo's Super Mario I, II, and III when I was growing up. I just loved their fun-simplicity. And all the different worlds that have been created through out the years have all been amazing.

Yesterday I started Wii's Super Mario Galaxy and it's been a blast so far. It's also helps playing on a 63 inch TV screen. I get to fly, scale walls, and travel to unique universes as a try to find find Peach (the princess). It's a great new way for me to escape reality.

How is it I Never Met This Guy Before?

2009-11-30T23:39:00.003-05:00

This is a short, neighborly story. This weekend Kate and I spent a little time cleaning out the last bits of stuff from the Stevenson Ln. basement. The real estate agent suggested it would make the basement look bigger. By the end we had a completely full truck and a queen size mattress, box spring and an old dining room table to unload. We left it in the alley for bulk trash pick up, which it turns out isn't a service offered by Baltimore County.

I contacted both Salvation Army and Goodwill, the latter of which didn't accept mattresses. The former did, but made it difficult to manage. So I settled on taking everything to the dump. A shame, I know, but what are you gonna do?

The climax of the story, please. Yes, of course. So today I went over early in the morning to tie everything to the roof of the truck for transport. In the middle of hauling all four pieces over to the car a neighbor on the opposite side of the alley came out and offered to help. I was very happy to accept. After lifting the mattress onto the truck it became clear the tying everything down was going to be tricky. Doable, but time consuming. My neighbor...we'll call him Scott because apparently that's his name, then offered to haul everything to the dump himself in his pick up truck. He was heading that way anyway, he said. I tried to refuse, but he was insistent. So I took him up on the offer.

We chatted as we loaded his pick up. Turns out he moved into his house in '98, exactly the same year, and only a month or two earlier than my move in. And in all that time we never had the occasion to meet. Now, eleven years and change later we meet in the twilight of my residency, probably never to speak again, and the guy goes and does an incredibly neighborly thing.

I think people are inherently good. Or rather people, by nature, think of others at least as much as they think of themselves.

Thank Yous Part 2

2009-11-30T22:15:00.006-05:00

I am thankful for my awesome cats, DB and Midnight.

I am thankful for my almost finished newly renovated home that Jason and I created together.

I am thankful for all my extended family, I hope all our paths meet again soon.

I am thankful for my grandmom, Jackie. She was recently put in a nursing home and I thank all the people who have been watching over her in these hard times - Dawn, Michelle, CJ, Georgia, Dave, my mom, my sister, and everyone else who has shown their unconditional support and love for granny. I know she is thankful for you all. I am thankful for the many happy times I've spent with her over the years. I know she is still with us, though her mind is slowly fading. Live the rest of your days in peace grandmom, we are all thankful for everything you have given us. God Bless you Grandma.

No Arms and No Legs

2009-11-29T22:30:00.003-05:00

There's this guy, Nick Vujicic. My boss sent me a link to a talk he gave some time ago. He apparently gives these talks to people around the world. He's Australian, and while their accents are hilarious, that's surprisingly not why people listen to him. It's because he has no arms and no legs.

Here's the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnT9vIX048E

What's impressive about this guy is how positive he is about his existence. I can't fathom being born without any limbs, growing up and coming out the other end a positive, upbeat, genuinely funny, light-hearted person.

He makes a strong argument for making lemonade out of life's lemons.

Thanks to Leftovers

2009-11-29T22:08:00.004-05:00

Thanksgiving leftovers are in my opinion better than the real thing, especially since I started getting two Thanksgiving dinners every year, Jason's dad's on Thursday and Jason's mom's on Saturday. Now I can eat the best of each meal for however long they last. I just have a love for comfort food and we don't mind leftovers at all. It's one of our best similarities, we are not picky eaters. It was Jason's birthday today and I did promise him pizza, but when we looked at all the leftovers we couldn't resist eating that for dinner tonight. I promise lovey, I will get you pizza as soon as the leftovers run out.

Happy Birthday Jason!! I love you!

Just Because I'm Now Officially Pushing 40 Birthdays Don't Have to Be a Downer, Right?

2009-11-29T01:49:00.003-05:00

It's a valid question. Tomorrow, or right now, as of about two hours ago, I'm turning 36, which makes me officially closer to 40 than 30. It's sort of shocking to me. I don't feel nearly 40, and I don't feel like I've accomplished enough in life to be locked in the big 4 - 0 countdown. But the math doesn't lie. I'm pushing 40 now and I have to accept it.

Because otherwise it just sounds awful. 40 is only ten years from 50, which is, geologically speaking, just a heartbeat away from 60. How can I almost be almost be 60? It's absurd!

So I'm trying to find the positives. The obvious angle is that, regardless of the age I'm approaching, at least I'm still approaching and achieving it. The alternative is unsavory. I'd rather be turning 40 than not aging at all, if you catch my drift.

And, at least on my Dad's side I have good genes, genes with the longevity factor switched to "maximum". My grandfather is in his 90s and is still reasonably healthy. Anne Whitehead, a Great Aunt or some similar relation on that side broke 100, healthy till the day she passed. What's more, she hated life and prayed everyday that god would pluck her up. That doesn't speak to a strong survival instinct or will-to-live, and she still managed to be a centenarian. Either she had good genes or her constant complaining annoyed her god enough that he didn't want her around and hence ignored her prayers to be smote.

I'll go with good genes. And that means that 40 may not actually be halfway to dead. I may still be on the uphill portion of my life. If that's not positive than I'm not qualified to writing on this blog.

And finally, more important than anything else, I'm pushing 40 and I still have my hair.

My Thank Yous Part 1

2009-11-29T00:35:00.004-05:00

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for my loving-caring in-laws. They've all warmly excepted me into their homes time and time again. I am also very thankful for the understanding and supportive love of my life, Jason. I am thankful for this blog, it's been quite an accomplishment.

I am thankful for my wonderful mom and dad. I know I don't call them quite enough, but when we do I love and appreciate our talks. They have both been very supportive and I'm thankful that I'll get to spend some quality time with them in a month. I am thankful for my dear sister, Kerri. She is my rock through good times and bad. I'm thankful that she has a wonderful man in her life and I couldn't of ask for a better brother-in-law. I am thankful for my two beautiful, healthy nephews, Kaiden and Blake.

I'm feeling kind of under the weather, so I'm going to end this now. To be Continued...

Live Treats

2009-11-28T00:51:00.003-05:00

I love when you go see one of your favorite musicians live and their opening acts end up being just as brilliant. It's truly a win-win, you discover a new amazing musician and get to see them perform live, which is like nothing else. Yes, the albums we be just fine, but hearing a band live feels so raw and intimate. When I was seeing Ani Difranco for the 3rd back in 2000, a musician named Erin McKeown opened for her and to this day Erin's album Distillation will forever be on my ipod. She just stood on stage with her acoustic guitar and played and sang her heart out, I will never forget it.

At Ingrid Michaelson's concert we did not know any opening bands were scheduled to play. But she actually ended up having 2 opening acts both ironically named Greg. First was Greg Holden from England, ladies first I must mention he was a real cutie and with that accent, oh boy. He was also a wonderfully talented lyricist and singer. Second up was Grey Laswell, who was equally as talented if not more talented. He had a very sweet, shy demeanor and his words were jarring with emotion. He was a little more earthy in his look and sound. I don't know I really liked them both for their own reasons. It was such a treat to discover them live. I can't wait to listen to there full albums.

Thanksgiving Thanks Giving

2009-11-28T00:38:00.002-05:00

I'm not one to get all gushy at Thanksgiving. I usually hate it when I'm asked to take part in the "go around the table and say what we're thankful for" exercise. But I guess this year of positives has had an effect on me, and this year I found myself contemplating the question.

What am I thankful for?

Well, right now I'm thankful that I have a job. A good one, and one that's not likely to go anywhere anytime soon. That's gold in today's USA. And I'm thankful to have love in my life, and someone to share that (and a blog) with. I'm thankful for my health and for the relative health and well-being of nearly everyone I care about.

I'm thankful for family. For my extended family which, warts and all gets along pretty swimmingly and has always been a huge part of my life. I'm thankful that, for the most part, we've all stayed local and get together nearly as regularly as we did when I was a kid. They're the group of people I can be the most myself with, so I'm thankful that I haven't lost any of them to illness, anger, or geographical distance.

I'm thankful that all of my problems, in the grand scheme, aren't all that bad. And I'm thankful that, for the most part genetics has equipped me to handle them, and what I can't handle alone, I have people close to me that can help. I'm thankful that I'm capable of asking for help. I don't suspect I'd be nearly as happy if I couldn't. Definitely not as prosperous (it's paper prosperity right now, but prosperity all the same.)

I'm sure there's more. These are just the highlights. I'm thankful that Kate and I set our own rules when it comes to this blog and we can decide for ourselves when each entry is finished.

And this entry is finished.*

*Except to say that I'm still not a fan of going around the table. Future Thanksgiving table-mates, please reference this entry in lieu of my turn at the mic.

Kate Said Jokingly, "Why Don't You Write About Farts?"

2009-11-26T22:06:00.001-05:00

Okay, I will. After all, there is nothing funnier than ripping off a loud one, the smellier the better. It's the highest form of comedy. It's the only act that's funny whether you're actively doing it, talking about it later, thinking about potentially doing it at some point in the future, or enjoying the ripple effect an especially potent explosion can have on your environment.

The fart is humanity's built in practical joke, and picking the perfect time to roll one out is an art form. There's the dutch oven, the SBD surprise, the aerial assault, the sonic boom, the twenty one gun salute, the fart finger and the back pocket rocket just to name a few. Even the technical terms are funny. Flatulence. Hilarious. Flatus. Side splitting.

And how often does something which is so inherently funny also have to potential to make you feel so good? You know the drill. You've been sitting in your office all day, afraid or unwilling to chance a rogue wave, so you clench. And the pressure builds. Sometimes you're not even aware of the air pockets steadily building in your guts. But they're there, and they're angry at being caged up.

So you get in the car at the end of the day and destroy your automotive ecosystem. And you feel so much better. And your car is stinky now, which is funny, so you snicker to yourself. And you wish you could call someone over to your car window and surprise them with your creation, because that would be even funnier.

So yes, I know why the caged fart sings.

Keep the Energy Alive

2009-11-26T21:26:00.004-05:00

Okay so I was a little tipsy when I thought of this blog subject today, so at the time it sounded brilliant. Well I'll just give it to you and you can come up with your own opinion:

You have to continue to 'keep the energy alive'. Staying young is about feeling young and the first way to feel young is by keeping active and motivated in your day to day life. It's so easy to become lazy and believe me you can tell by many of my blog entries that being lazy is one of my specialties. We just shouldn't be lazy all the time and the older you get the less and less lazy you should be. Continue to keep your body in shape and healthy by exercising, joining sport leagues, hiking, biking, volunteering, or just whatever interests you. It's also great to keep stimulating your mind throughout your life by things like reading, going to cultural shows, or by starting a new hobby like making crafts. I have decided that I feel strongly about this. People start feeling old and depressed when they decide to shut out the world more and more, thinking there's no more life to live when there's always something new to learn and experience.

These thoughts came to me today when we were at my uncle Don's for his annual 'Brunch before Thanksgiving party'. One of Don's co-workers, Timmy, at the station was talking about how Don runs circles around him when he's hard at work. Timmy is maybe 20 years younger than my uncle so it just amazes him how energized Don is on a daily basis. Don also reads a tremendous amount and just surrounds himself with stimulating conversation. It's just something to admire and strive to be when I am his age and older. I hope I can hold onto this new found attitude.

I'm about to go into a complete food coma. I need to seriously lay horizontal.

Good night and I hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving. And remember to KEEP THE ENERGY ALIVE.

An "Era" of Distinction

2009-11-25T23:14:00.005-05:00

So this isn't really positive or negative. It's just something I've always found interesting. Go online or to your nearest antiquated Better Homes and Gardens magazine and find a picture of a living room from the 1970s. Now find one from the mid 50s or the early '80s. You'll know them immediately, often without the need for captions to reveal the dates pictured.

That, to me, is so interesting. In a living room you have art, knick-knacks, furniture, electronics, textiles, carpets, paint and wallpapers, as well as the clothing and hairstyles worn by the room's occupants. All of these evolve separately, though clearly not in a vacuum, and each can and does influence each other. Regardless they all fuse together to create a very recognizable whole. And generally you can recognize that whole from just a small sampling of the pieces. Mid-century modern furniture is different from the loungy look of the '70s, or the angular, bloated look from the mid '80s. But these differences are often subtle. How is it that subtle differences in design across the spectrum of everyday objects creates easily recognizable palettes?

It's not like in any given era there is only a limited number of design choices. No matter the era eople create easily thousands of disparate designs. But something unifies them. Clearly at any given point in history there are overarching design narratives going on across the culture in question, whether people recognize it or not, that inform each individual item created during that period. They are subtle nuances, but they infect everything, and while they seem hidden to that eras' contemporaries, they leap out glaringly to the eyes of history.

I guess hindsight is 20/20 in more ways than one. Subtle patterns become increasingly more apparent as design becomes more dated. Or, maybe it's the other way around. Maybe it's the subtleties that delineate objects, and these subtleties melt away over time, rendering the similarities between objects more obvious.

Maybe it's a factor of closeness. Not in terms of proximity but in terms of familiarity. We look at other humans and we see millions of unique faces because we are very familiar with that design form. We live with it everyday. However, when we look at a pig (most of us at least) we see...a pig. We would be very hard pressed to pick one pig's face out from a group of just 50 other pigs. We are far less intimately familiar with the design form, "pig." We only see the obvious similarities.

So with everything in design. One of those people sitting in your picture of that 1970's rumpus room is very familiar with the design forms around them. They see the subtleties of that design and hence don't recognize the "now" as anything special. They certainly don't recognize their rumpus room as belonging to any specific "era" of design.

But now, 30-some years later, having long since discarded, along with history, that particular design aesthetic, that same person can look back with clear eyes. Being far less familiar, in terms of everyday experience, with the design vocabulary of the 1970s, our modern day viewers lose much of the subtlety of design, and the overriding similarities emerge. We see what makes that "era" what it was. Of course it was always there. We were just to close to in 1975 to see it.

It doesn't hurt that we have a frame of reference now, and the sense to know that giant lime green, mustard yellow and rust orange flowers on your walls with three-foot thick shag carpeting to match isn't acceptable, ever.

Mary and Max

2009-11-25T22:38:00.005-05:00

Today I accidentally bought a movie from Comcast On Demand. I was checking out the movies they had available on the IFC in theaters section (this section contains independent films that just hit the theaters). Sometimes they include a trailer for you to see before you make a purchase. I went to a film I had never heard of called Mary and Max and somehow accidentally bought it, it cost $7.99 which is pretty pricey for us, but when your paying up to $11 per ticket in the theaters it's still an really good deal. I was in the process of calling Comcast and cancelling the order when I decided to look up the film online. It had great reviews and the trailer looked great. It was a clay animation with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Toni Collette providing the voices. We decided to keep it and watched it tonight. It was really dark and beautifully animated. The story was very heartfelt. When it was over Jason and I looked at each other in amazement at how wonderful the film was. It could be too dark and sad for some folks, but if you can handle that genre it's worth a watch. Clay animation when done correctly is so visually simulating. Every detail was captured so beautifully. Mary and Max was certainly a happy accident.

Let me give you a short synopsis. Mary and Max is a story about an unlikely long distance friendship between Mary, an eight year old girl from Australia and a man named Max who's a 40 something New Yorker. They are both odd balls in their own worlds of imagination. They end of teaching each other a lot about life with their 20 + years of pen palling.

When Immensely Difficult Tasks Appear Simple

2009-11-24T23:27:00.004-05:00

I love it when one (or a group) of our kind manages to pull of something monumentally difficult and make it appear as if it should surprise us that we weren't able to do something so simple earlier.

Case in point. The Shazam app for the iPhone and Android. If you're familiar with it you'll know where I'm coming from. To fill in the uninitiated, Shazam uses the speakerphone mic on your cellphone to listen to and sample a small segment of a song, say playing on the radio. It then compares that sample to what must be a gigantic database of music and identifies the song, artist and album. The database is stored a some remote server, not on your phone. Shazam must upload the sample it records wirelessly to that server, which processes the match and then sends the result back to your phone.

It happens fast, usually in under 15 seconds. And most of that time is devoted to sampling the music. The actual matching time is a pittance. And for me at least it hasn't missed one yet. But here's the thing. Matching a full music track to a full music track wouldn't be that hard. All you have to do is compare the waveforms of each full track. If the shapes match, the songs match. But Shazam doesn't compare a full track. Generally you come into the song somewhere in the middle. And even then Shazam only samples a small portion of the song. So now you're asking the computer to compare a small portion of an unknown song, starting at an unknown point in that song, to a database of every song ever recorded (or thereabouts.) That's orders of magnitude more difficult than comparing full tracks, because now the computer has to compare its sample to part of a song, and it has absolutely no idea what part that is.

And that's what I mean. These programmers have managed to pull off what really constitutes computing magic. It's beautiful, and not just because it works, but because it does it so elegantly and so transparently that you completely forget the monumental piece of computing that's taking place under the hood. And apart from all of that, Shazam is a kick to use. It's essential for the music lover and radio listener.

If you get it, you'll love it and you'll use it constantly. Just try and get an appreciation for the fact that what your doing almost shouldn't be possible.*

*That's a bit of an overstatement maybe, but it sells newspapers.

Help Me! It's your Job!

2009-11-24T23:23:00.005-05:00

I'll admit it, I did not read Jason's last entry, but he did tell me it was about good customer service and I know it's not original to write about the same subjects, but I really can't help it this time. Going into a store and getting rude, impatient employees attempting to service you is the worst. I worked in retail for many years and one of my favorite things about it was helping the customers. I never felt fake about it and it always felt good to find what they were looking for. And it was a relatively easy job to perform. So now when I get bad service in this terrible economy, where you should be happy to have a job at all, I get furious at them. Just put a smile on and help me, it would take ten seconds of your time. There are the rude customers you get every so often that helping them just feels dirty, but you suck it up and help them regardless.

Now getting back to the positive, when I receive really nice overall treatment at a retail store I leave in a great mood. I remember the faces of those for helped me, hoping they will again help me when I return. I had that kind of friendly, helpful service at Wegmans today. It's the busiest time to go the grocery store, since Thanksgiving's in two days, so it was packed. But regardless the employees there helped me along the way. I'd never done a big grocery trip there before so I was a little hesitant going in knowing how insane it was going to be. The customers were a little pushy and rude (I call people rude when they aren't friendly, it's the southerner in me.). There was a Wegmans employee down almost every aisle who was happy to answer any of my questions. They were very approachable and funny. They really run a great customer service regiment there.

The best part happened when I was leaving, I did not have a member card yet, so I approached the self-checkout lady and asked her advise. She said "Why don't I swipe a member card for you at the self-checkout aisle here and start ringing and bagging you items while you go get a card at customer service. That was a tremendous gesture from her. When I came back with my card, she had already rung and bagged half my groceries. I didn't have to wait in any long lines, except when I hit traffic at the 5 o'clock rush time.

It doesn't take much to please me, just a friendly smile and a little assistance goes a long way.

Great Customer Service!

2009-11-23T23:02:00.003-05:00

Great customer service will get any business farther than almost any other factor. Take two companies that manufacture the same items. All things being equal, the company that offers better customer service will always win out in the end. And, given the relative importance of customer service in an overall business experience, even if the company with better customer service manufactured a slightly inferior product, they'd still, in the end win more customers than the competition. Because people want to feel cared for. Important.

And for me, sometimes it's in the most unlikely places that good customer service makes the biggest difference. Take fast food restaurants. My favorite? Chik-Fil-A. Yes, their food is good, especially their waffle fries. But they also offer an unparalleled customer experience. All of their employees are friendly, attentive, fast and knowledgeable. They go out of their way to make sure you're enjoying your meal, which is what the food you're consuming ends up feeling like. Your fast food experience at Chik-Fil-A rivals some sit down establishments.

And they aren't just a little bit better than the competition. They are the hands-down, undisputed king of fast food customer service, passing all pretenders to the throne by miles. Most other restaurant chains pale by comparison. At best their customer service is spotty, varying greatly from location to location, and at worst, McDonalds for one, the customer service is generally poor. Think bored, grumpy teenagers that don't look at you when they take your order and don't spit in your food only because it would impose another step in an already arduous, annoying process.

I understand you're working a minimum wage job. You may not like your coworkers. You probably don't like your customers. But don't show it! One of my greatest pet peeves is people who take their job, whatever it is, for granted, especially in the service industries.

So when you find a company that gets it, you stick with them. I don't eat fast food breakfast often, but when I do, if I can, I go to Chik-Fil-A. I'd rather give my money to companies that appear to truly appreciate it, instead of just expecting it.

Just tonight I had another great customer service experience with the Verizon Wireless authorized reseller where I bought my new Droid phone. The guy spent almost an hour with me, fixing a few bugs in my initial contract, making sure that everything was set up properly, and making sure I knew exactly what I needed to take advantage of my rebate offers. All the while an older couple was waiting for help (the guy was the only one working) and he managed to keep them happy and patient while working on my account. By the end we were all chatting, laughing, and no one felt at all put upon or frustrated.

Good customer service. Friendly customer service. Honest customer service. Those are the cornerstones of success.*

*Unless the building is a pyramid a fourth cornerstone is necessary. We'll go with free food in the customer lobby.

Finding the Perfect Green

2009-11-23T22:19:00.003-05:00

I've really enjoyed brainstorming what we're going to cook for our Thanksgiving dinners this year. I usually do the old family standby, broccoli casserole, which is always delicious, but I really wanted to do something different this year. I went through all the Thanksgiving recipes at foodnetwork.com and then I started going through the top 50 food blogs and really found some interesting things and some great sites.

We decided a few weeks ago that we would bring a green vegetable and we somehow were both thinking brussel sprouts. So that's been my focus for my search. I found a few winners today, but I'm going to keep my selection a secret, since I know Jason's family reads our blog.

And for those who don't know Jason has Thanksgiving with his dad's family on Thursday and with his mom's on Saturday. You won't see any complaints from me. I love Thanksgiving comfort food and can't wait for the festivities of stuffing our tummies begin.

Christmas Lights

2009-11-22T21:24:00.005-05:00

I think one of my first entries into this blog had to do with Christmas music. Now, as the holiday season descends on us I find myself plumbing back into that topic for ideas. And again, being the good Jew that I am, I'm going to focus on Christmas.

It's only because Hanukkah has no flash. No glitz. No mascot. It's just not sexy. Christmas, on the other hand, screams "holiday season!" For me the holidays are not about any sort of religious significance. They're about family and friends and generosity of spirit. And anything that reminds me of that makes me smile. That's why I love Christmas lights. They're an ostentatious outward display of inner happiness. And that happiness is contagious.

Plus they can be really beautiful. I remember loving driving around neighborhoods as a kid with my family looking at the decorated houses. I was awe-struck. Back then I'm sure I was also suffering from religion-envy. The most light we had at our house was nine candles that burned for 45 minutes. Nice, but not the same. I used to wonder why we couldn't put up Hanukkah lights, sticking with white and blue for the season. Not a common practice, I guess.

I'm over that, of course. But I'd still drive out of my way to see a particularly beautiful house display. One day I'd like to decorate our house, I think. A nice pastafarian display to really light up the holidays!

Wonders, Questions, and Balance

2009-11-22T20:44:00.005-05:00

When I was younger I used to wonder about the many different "whys" in life, I would have deep conversations with older people or just listen to their fascinating analytical thoughts about the world. I would be completely enthralled and write about my findings and dreams when I had alone time. I was such a deep thinker in high school and I would only surround myself with people similar to me.

I feel the older I get the less patience I have for listening to profound wonderings and the less I come up with my own. I guess once you become an adult you lose your focus on the true unknowns of the world and only allow yourself to focus on what tasks will get you through each day. I miss those times and the person I used to be. Jason is very much a thinker and thought provoker. This is one of the many reasons why I love him and it's also why he can drive me crazy at times. He tries to get me thinking all the time and I somehow very rarely latch on to his ideas or questions about the world. I really wish I could escape like he does. But it's hard when you feel we'll never get to where we are going or get the laundry finished if we keep escaping into our own heads. I wish for a balance, a way I could escape with him every so often and at the same time be responsible.

Really, a nice all-inclusive vacation is what we need. Jason, this does mean that you have full range to talk my ear off once we are on this vacation. You can moderately tell your wonders and I will be able to do the same. We will also have to add in some time for peace and quite, which is also one of my favorite things.

Color

2009-11-22T01:11:00.003-05:00

Yeah, unfortunately we did get some crappy news, today. Kate's last entry spelled it out, so I won't repeat it. And she did a good job of spinning it into something positive. In lieu of repeating her, I'm just going to write on an entirely unrelated topic, as if today didn't happen.

Color vision. To me it's astounding. You can explain the process of seeing in color scientifically, but that doesn't come close to encapsulating the experience of color. We all know that color is simply how our brain interprets light of varying wavelengths inside the visible spectrum (our visible spectrum, that is...many other animals can see beyond our range.) But that's just how our brain renders visual information. There's another component that comes from within and piggybacks on our visual experience. It's a strong emotional component that has very little to do with the science of color and everything to do with our humanity.

Your eyes orient themselves at the sky and capture light in wavelengths around 475 nanometers. That information is passed down the optic nerve to your brain's vision center where the data is crunched, filtered and then rendered as a sky colored blue. But then you experience the sky. Even though you've already gone through the entire process of rendering an image you don't experience that image until the end. And that experience is entirely separate from the creation process. It's sort of like watching a movie. A lot goes into creating a film from concept to projection, but none of that is evident or important when experiencing the movie. The viewing of the movie is distinct from the creation of the movie.

My point is that the magic of color doesn't lie in the process of capturing and rendering our internal world "movie". The magic is in how that movie affects us. From that perspective color is an entirely inexplicable experience. Without invoking the electromagnetic spectrum, wavelengths, or any other of colors technical aspects, try and explain what color is. You can't, can you? I can't either, I think because the experience of color defies description. Describe the difference between blue and yellow. Describe the deep, almost iridescent shade of green found in gardens across the planet. I mean, you can do it, but the attempt will almost surely involve self-referential vagaries and calls to objects that happen to give off the color in question. Describing color without directly referring to that color is very difficult. In other words, you could describe orange as, "yellow with a little red thrown in", which it is, but what does that tell you? Now you have to describe yellow and red. You could describe each of those by referring to canaries and cherries respectively, but if your listener has never seen those objects, you've again said nothing.

Try explaining the experience of color to a blind person.

That's what I love about color. It exists and it doesn't. The wavelengths of light we see exist apart from us, but the color the create in our brains do not. Our brains create blue, not the other way around. The science of color has nothing to do with the experience of color, and vice versa. Your experience of blue, while potentially vastly different than mine, can never change the wavelength of the light you're perceiving. Your and my perception of blue might be very different, but light vibrating at 475 nm will always exist as it does.

It's about as close to magic as you can get.

Holiday Hugs

2009-11-21T21:15:00.003-05:00

Well it's official, Jason and I will have to take an easy on spending too much for the holidays. The biggest reason is that the rental offer we had on the house has been cancelled, we found out this afternoon, 30 minutes before Jason was suppose to meet the renters to sign the lease and get the first rental payment. It's really ridiculous how little notice they gave us. We will now have little to no extra $ till the house gets another offer. I know none of this is very positive, but what I'm getting at is even though gifts will be non-existent this season I still can't wait to spend quality time with Jason's family and my family this holiday season. The true meaning of the holidays is to be with the ones you love. The people that love you unconditionally no matter your financial situation. I really love you all and can't wait for the holidays to start. Jason and I have had pretty tough times this year with my unemployment and our many house issues, all I really want are hugs from the ones I love.

Tonight the Role of Bed Will Be Played By Couch

2009-11-20T23:17:00.003-05:00

There something great about falling asleep on the couch while watching TV. It's a practice round for the night's slumber ahead. Somehow it never lasts more than a half an hour, and when you wake up you wish you were already in bed. Instead you have to manage a half-conscious body drag through your evening rituals (like writing a blog entry, for example) with the deep taste of sleep on your tongue and a hunger to match. And a tendency toward unnecessary dramatic flair.

But it's sweet, that mild torture. It's like trying the cake batter. It's delicious and leaves you wanting, but it also promises cake.

And Daddy's hungry for some cake. The sweet, fluffy cake of unconsciousness.

But no icing. I don't like the icing.

Slippers as Work Shoes

2009-11-20T22:26:00.003-05:00

Getting to wear slippers all day at my new job is the best. Yesterday I bought a sturdy pair at Target, so they stay on throughout the day. They are perfect. What I did find odd was coming home after an 8 hr day and putting on the same shoes I wore all day as I relax around the house. Either way it's great and I have nothing to complain about.

The Lord of Cats

2009-11-20T07:37:00.003-05:00

I don't know why I used that title. I seemed funnier than "When Lesser Mammals Pay Homage to Their Genetic Superiors", I guess.

But neither title has much to do with what I'm writing about, mainly because I'm sure cat's do this entirely for self-serving purposes. Nevertheless, I love it when cats follow you around. It makes it seem at least like they genuinely crave your company. Plus it's just cute. Mine and Kate's are like 15 year old mute toddlers that pad around after you, following innocently from room to room, content just to be near you. Paying them attention is a bonus, of course, and DB particularly will sometimes force himself on you. But from a place of sort of quaint desperation which isn't the least bit annoying.

Dogs I'm sure behave the same way, probably to an even greater degree. But I'm not a dog person, so I can't really speak to it. I know my sister and John's dog Lucy likes the lap, but she may just be imitating the two cats in the house. But okay. Let's be inclusive and expand out to say how great it is when any animal follows you around the house. Especially fish. That's particularly endearing, and astounding.

Target -I love you!

2009-11-19T21:16:00.002-05:00

Target is an amazing store. I just love the happy shopping mood that overpowers me when I walk in. They have almost everything and everything they do have is good quality. They have all the latest women fashions with a large sale selection. Wonderful selections in all there departments from health care to shoes to toys to home decor. I am just a huge supporter and fan.

I was invited to a work dinner tonight that started at 6:30 that was right near work, so instead of going home and coming back in an hour I instead went to Target and shopped my head off. I really don't have the money to be spending, but what's a girl to do with two and half hours to kill?! I bought holiday gifts for our three nephews which is now something off our plate. I only allowed myself to shop in the sale clothing section and bought five blouses that were all under $10. I treated myself to a new wallet and got a bunch of needed health care items including Zyrtec to relieve my allergy issues. Before I knew it I only had 15 minutes till the dinner began so I ran to check out. Yes, the bill was a little steep for my liking, but I really feel I got a lot of great things that were mostly needed. Target is a true love of mine.

There's Always Tomorrow Night

2009-11-19T01:14:00.002-05:00

In homage to the fact that I'm not going to get a lot of sleep tonight let me say that there's always tomorrow night. Until you're dead, you can always catch up on sleep.

Miss two nights in a row? Not a big deal. You'll sleep well the third. Granted you'll have to get through the intervening days. To help, just keep your goal in mind, what you're pushing toward. That eventual moment when you fall asleep, stay and asleep and make up for all the deprivation you'd subjected yourself to prior.

It almost makes the make-up sleep all that much sweeter. It's like a well-earned reward instead of a humdrum regularity.

For me, tonight, my goal is Friday night. I'll be making up for most of this week. And it's going to be great.

Night Time Meds

2009-11-18T22:31:00.003-05:00

Okay, since I'm having the worse sinus pains I've ever had this will be short one. Right now all I can think about is going to sleep so this entry goes out to all the nighttime pain meds that help you sleep and hopefully lend a hand in your recovery.

I will be taking some Benadryl Allergy meds tonight that will knock me out and clear away my sinus issues. Tylenol Cold and Sinus and NyQuil have also been lifesavers in the past. Alright give me my drugs and let me pass out now.

Brooke, my Motivational Speaker

2009-11-17T18:16:00.003-05:00

I got to catch up with my friend, Brooke, today when I decided to give her a ring during the kid's nap time. It was great to finally talk to her. I knew that she was back in NY and really busy pursuing her dreams, but I didn't know all the details. So here you go: she's currently interning for Bust my favorite magazine, she is producing her own comedy shows around the city and in Jersey, she doing art shows presenting her handmade light boxes, and she's back bartending and waiting at a NYC night spot. I really admire her tenacity, she never gives up and will always be an amazingly talented, unique individual. She keeps herself super busy, which is very motivational.

Even with all the things she has going on she kept talking about what my next steps should be with my photography. I wasn't in a rut quite yet, but I could see myself getting there. But now after our talk I feel more self-confident and have new motivation to stay positive as I pursue my photography and my teaching aspirations. Brooke and I are very similar in our work ethic and dedication and I just have to remember that everyday. Miss and Love you Brooke, break a leg!

666...Gasp!

2009-11-17T07:19:00.003-05:00

This is the 666th entry in this blog 'o positives, and I think it's a really positive to thing to point out that this number doesn't actually mean anything. It's just a number, like 13. It's one more the 665 and slightly less than 667. It means just as little (read not at all) as 444, 555, and 777. There are so many things we fear in life. Take this one off your shelf and discard it. It's not the sign of the beast. It's not anything.

Don't be afraid of a number.

And for that matter, don't be afraid of a "beast" either. He's imaginary, too. There's so much real world stuff to fear. Why load yourself up with imaginary fear? If god is love to you than worship love and throw the rest of the stupid negativity out the window. I don't believe in god, but I do believe this. If you think he's there and he inspires love in you, you're doing something right. But if you fear god, fear sin, and live with guilt and anxiety, you've got things horribly, horribly wrong.

Lighten up. 666. Say it with me.

Breathing a Sigh of Relief

2009-11-16T23:10:00.000-05:00

It's official. I can breath again. I'm meeting this Saturday with the new tenants of Stevenson Ln. to sign the lease and finalize. Then I'm going to register with the county and the whole shebang will be legit, legal and puncture-proof. And it won't be a negative to my balance sheet, which is a strong positive to my life.

Here's to neat freak tenants who can't help themselves but treat your house with love and only call you when there's actually a problem, which almost never happens. Stack that one with the positives.

Shopping while Hungry

2009-11-16T18:13:00.005-05:00

Going to the grocery store when you're starving is the worst thing for your budget, but it's the best thing when it comes to filling your hunger cravings. I bought everything my heart desired, which wasn't a whole lot, but still awesome. Some of my cravings were rare roast beef for lunch, sea salt and vinegar chips, granola strawberry yogurt sandwiches, egg nog, and white cheddar cheese popcorn. I just couldn't help myself. Now I'm so excited to dig in, but I'll do my best to hold off so I have room for dinner. I can't wait to have an after dinner snack.

The "App" Model

2009-11-15T22:52:00.004-05:00

I'm sorry, everyone, but you're going to have to suffer through a string of cell phone based entries, as that's where my attention's focused right now. This one deals with the app model of cell phone functionality. Personally, I think it's brilliant, and a quantum leap forward in cell phone design.

The boon, as I see it, is that it extends the personal computer model to personal communication devices. Instead of trying to design the perfect phone that does everything that anyone could possibly want right out of the box, the app model allows designers to create platforms, phones that perform all the basic functions of a PDA/cell phone and allow third party designers to fill in the holes. That also means that you can customize your device to do exactly what, and only what you need it to do. And that avoids function bloat. Instead of dedicating memory and processor power to functions you never use, you can hone your device down to a streamlined, user-specific experience.

And you can do it without a large extra investment above the cost of the phone. Most apps are either free or very inexpensive, due in part to the narrow focus of their functionality. Each app adds only a small feature set and is therefore inexpensive. But again, that's ideal, because you're only paying for the functionality you need and nothing additional.

The iPhone started it (sort of...Palm really started it, but it was always really poorly implemented) and clearly it works, because every other company is now hopping on board.

The Act of Writing it Down

2009-11-15T22:27:00.003-05:00

I love when I first crack open a new notebook. When it's a nice decorative one from Barnes and Noble even better, but really it doesn't matter what it looks like. Writing down thoughts, lists, ideas, whatever it may be keeps me focused. I go through notebooks so fast, which I know is wasteful. I would try to use every back and front page and try my hardest to write smaller, but it's hard for me. I write whatever way that comes naturally to me at the time. I'm about to run out of pages in my current notebook, so I will need to purchase a new one. They've been a real help when going through client photos these days.

I know most people have resorted to using computers or phones for keeping lists, but for me there's just something more helpful and concrete for me when I physically write it down. I would like to start keeping separate notebooks for all the things going on in my life such as one for daily reminders like groceries and then one for jotting down photo client details.

The more organized I am the better I feel, first I need a new notebook. Lately I've been finding cheap, cool ones in the bargain aisle at Barnes. I'll drop by there tomorrow.

The Droid Invasion is Going to Rock

2009-11-15T01:12:00.004-05:00

You're all probably seen the commercials for Verizon's new Droid phone by now. They're running them constantly, and they're making a lot of promises. It's a huge buzz campaign, and it's a lot to live up to.

The Droid delivers.

You know I've been in the market for a new phone, and phones based on Google's open source Android operating system were high on my list. After a thorough study of the current and upcoming contenders, I settled on the Droid. I'm currently using it for a two week trial period. I can return it for a full refund if I'm not satisfied, but I don't suspect that will happen.

The phone and the operating system rock! I really do believe this phone could finally blossom Android into the iPhone killer it promised to be. And since I wanted an iPhone but couldn't live with switching back to AT&T, I'm pretty ecstatic about that. The phone is gorgeous, zippy and feature-packed, and while it lags far behind the iPhone in total number of Apps, it's does have a large collection, one that's quickly growing. The fact the Android is open source is a huge boon in that department, and will mean that, as more people adopt Android phones (and as more and more developers get sick of Apple's selection process), App development for Android will skyrocket.

The Droid is a slick phone easily worthy of consideration as an alternative to the iPhone for anyone sick of or unwilling to join up with AT&T. Granted the ultimate "iPhone on AT&T" killer would be the "iPhone on Verizon", or really any other network, but that won't happen until the middle of 2010, and not until 2011 if the exclusivity contract renewal rumors are true. I'm not willing (or able, my phone is falling apart) to wait that long. The Droid is as good as the iPhone in most respects and better in others (it has a virtual keyboard AND a physical keyboard, for one). Yeah, it doesn't have multi touch, which sucks. But the phone does support it. There are Apps available that operate just the iPhone in that capacity. The operating system itself supports it, too. It's just unimplemented. I think Google is afraid of legal repercussions. But, as I said, Android is open source, so it's only a matter of time before someone designs an App that unlocks multi touch system wide.

So yeah, I'm keeping the phone and switching to Verizon. Let the Droid invasion begin!

The Heaven of Food: Wegmans

2009-11-15T00:25:00.003-05:00

Wegmans is the most amazing grocery store I've ever been to, it has everything you could possibly imagine. I don't go in there much knowing how much I could possibly end up spending. There's one right near my new and old work place. I went there after work the other day and only allowed myself to carry around a small basket. I seem to discover something new every time I go there. This time I discovered the organic and herbal aisle they have. They have an entire section of organic energy drinks. It's like everything they have at whole foods plus all the stuff they have at your general grocery store put under one roof. An awesome gift would be a gift certificate for Wegmans. Jason and I would have a ball.

They have so many different selections of fresh fish, cut meat, cheese galore, pre-made salads, and so much more. You can just go there for lunch, grab a tray and have your choice of homemade soups, fresh Chinese food, sushi, fried chicken, gourmet sandwiches, and fresh fruit for desert. Then you can sit in there large food court and enjoy an awesome lunch with your co-workers. The options are endless no matter what isle you are on. Wegmans definitely intimidates me and going in there is scary at times, but it is truly an absolutely glorious mecca for food lovers.

Improv Everywhere

2009-11-14T00:04:00.003-05:00

I just discovered a group called Improv Everywhere, they are a musical theatre troupe that performs spontaneous musical performance acts in public places. They've done one in a food court and another one in a grocery store. The one in the grocery store is just awesome, I just love the idea of out-of-the-box art. And these guys are so musically talented and their choreography is spot on. You got to love the different reactions of all the bystanders witnessing their outburst in song and dance, it's priceless. Some people chose to just stand there in complete shock and amazement. While others start grasping the fact that it's just an act and standby enjoying the free performance. Then there are always a few that get mad at the dumb display for interrupting their busy schedules.

I personally really feel more acts like these should be put together and organized. If the act doesn't involve being as talented as these guys are than I would absolutely volunteer. Life is way to short to not allow yourself to stop and smell the flowers every so often, or in this case enjoy a spontaneous art performance.

String Cheese

2009-11-13T23:50:00.003-05:00

When is cheese better than just cheese? When it's melted, or slathered in peanut butter, or when it comes in prepackaged cylinders just the right size to eat one after another until the cholesterol overwhelms your system rendering you unconscious.

Because cheese, like most good things on the planet, is meant to be enjoyed in excess, and anything that facilitates a rapid ingestion of goodness can't be bad. And anything that is good, facilitates goodness and is the mortal enemy of bad deserves a place in every American refrigerator.

So no. I don't eat cheese this way. I fantasize about it, though. String cheese is to dairy products as Pringles are to fried, mostly potato-based snack foods. Betcha can't eat just one.

Free Furniture Pick Up and Take Away

2009-11-13T00:20:00.003-05:00

I don't think I've written about this yet. I searched through all the older posts and didn't find anything, but there are over 650 entries now, so I may have missed it. Let's assume, for the sake of sleep that I didn't.

Getting old furniture and other large household items hauled away can be a tricky and sometimes expensive proposition. But Kate and I never have that problem. We live on a major street in the city, so junk removal is easy. We leave it out on the sidewalk with a "take me" sign and within no time, it's gone.

It's uncanny sometimes how fast it happens. A few months ago I put an old end table out by the street. After carrying it out I went up into the attic to get something. While I was up there I heard what sounded like a pick-up truck life-gate dropping. I flew to the window just in time to see an older gentleman grab the table, load it into his truck and drive off. It was taken in under ten minutes.

And it doesn't seem to matter what it is, how big or bulky it is, or its state of repair. We've left out old, beat up couches, broken lounge chairs, tables, a ratty desk, our old desk chair (which the cat had puked on right before we put it out) and more I'm forgetting. All dealt with for us by the circling junk-mongers of Baltimore City.

But here's the really interesting, and somewhat surprising part. If we forget to put the "take me" sign on our item, it's left untouched. We had something, an old chair I think, sit out for 24 hours before we finally realized the sign was missing. We added it, and the chair was gone within the hour. That makes me feel good. These people aren't thieves casing the neighborhood looking for unmonitored stuff. These are people trying to eek out an honest living reselling the junk other people don't want. More power to them.

Keep up the good work.

Next Blog Already...

2009-11-12T20:27:00.003-05:00

I'm excited to start a new personal blog after this initial one has ran it's course come January. Don't get me wrong I have really enjoyed writing this one with Jason, but I just feel it's time we went our own way and wrote our own personal blogs this next time around. Jason is an extraordinary writer who deserves his own spotlight and I am not the best writer and would be better at doing entries involving recipes, crafts, or introspective journal type prose. I would love to start writing poetry again and hope I'll feel the inspiration to do just that. I'm exciting to start this new journey, one that is all mine. I really don't care if people read it or not.

I feel this blog has been truly therapeutic and continuing this brain download with another one will only further benefit me mentally and physically.

Thanks, whoever you are, for continuing to listen to our rants.