Digging Down the Creative Strata

Digital artwork affords a perspective previously difficult in the creative arts. The ability to go "backward in time" through the stages of a finished piece, from its finished state back through to its earliest drafts. It's a really interesting process, even if you only just recently finished work.

For me it works like this. Each time we make revisions to a commercial, video, graphic design, etc. for a client we upload it to our servers. Each further revision is posted under the same name with the version number updated by one. Therefore, at any point after the project is complete you can go back and watch each previous version in reverse order, back to the earliest posting. It's a great way to get perspective on the finished video as you see it deconstruct itself one revision round at a time.

What strikes you often is just how different the final is from the initial conception. Changes are gradual, and often made by committee. So you have multiple viewpoints changing a single vision in a stutter-step fashion over time. Sometimes the only way you can truly appreciate the genesis of the final project is to watch it's creation in reverse. Many times it helps you recognize why the changes needed to be made, but just as often you find yourself lamenting excellence lost in the edit.

I'm glad I work in a medium that allows historical viewings. I like having that record of where a project came from. Sometimes I appreciate the final outcome all the more because of the path followed to get there.

Afternoon Snooze (Not at Work) at Work

I don't get enough sleep. I've known this for years. Lately I've been getting up at 6:30 to either work out or write my daily entry, so I probably get five to six hours of sleep a night. For me that's enough to function fine, especially if I can make up for it on the weekends. But I always crash at some point in the afternoon, usually between 2:00 and 3:00. Given my normal-Joe work schedule, that crash always occurs at work.

It doesn't help that my edit suite is usually warmer than the rest of the office, or that my comfortable leather chair is set permanently to "recline", but neither of those are necessary conditions for my generally unavoidable daily desk pass-out. I'd probably still nod off for a few minutes in the afternoon if I was sitting on a bee's nest in the middle of a village of Arctic cannibals (to be fair though that might be because of the dart in my neck).

It just happens and I can't help it. It starts out with a general bleariness, a sort of haze that starts building up between my work and me. I find myself losing focus, unable to keep track of what I'm doing. Sometimes I'm not aware that it's happening. I just start fading in and out, redoing the same edit or re-watching the same footage over and over again. Eventually I realize that I'm fighting sleep, and that's when the fun begins. I love the changes in consciousness you go through will fighting sleep. The narrowing of your visual field. The phasing of awareness. The seeming leaps forward in time as awareness is briefly restored. The accompanying random thoughts, and the occasional mild auditory or visual hallucinations. The utter lack of control you have over your own faculties. It's all really fascinating stuff. And it culminates usually with a very brief, five minute snooze that resets my engine and reinvigorates me.

I'm usually good for the rest of the day afterwards. And I work enough overtime that I don't think anyone would begrudge me my ten minute psychedelic siesta. I don't always like being sleep-deprived, but I like what it does for my afternoons.

Sometimes Routine is Nice

When your day is wide open, and anything is possible, that's when sometimes you're the least productive. That's how it is for me, at least. With a week of vacation I've done nothing but enjoy myself. Which is great, don't get me wrong. I've had a nice break from the grind. But all my grand plans of getting the last bits of work done around the house...not realized. I did get the AC unit in, as you read yesterday. But that's it.

Which is why I say that sometimes the routine of "the grind" is a good thing. It gives your week a structure. A schedule you can operate inside of. It demarcates your productive times from your non-productive times, and offers relaxation time as a reward from your labors as opposed to a freely available, easily exploitable constant. It's sort of like putting a toddler in a play pen. The fenced in area defines his/her world for a time. It gives borders and limits choices. It lets them feel safe and encourages play.

It's something like that...loosely.

I'm not necessarily looking forward to going back to work, although I like my work, so it doesn't bother me. I'm looking forward to the routine, and having Kate around again. I'm looking forward to our little rituals and the things we normally do to spend time together. I can't wait for my play pen to have a bit of a fence again.

Deadlines, The Ultimate Motivator

I work so much better when I'm under a deadline. My focus is keener, I'm faster and more efficient, and, in many cases, I think I'm more creative. I need the hard end a deadline provides to spur me into action. Take the two weeks leading up to Kate's family's arrival, for example. Kate and I got more done in that short period of time than we'd gotten done in the previous six months. Knowing that we had to be finished to a certain point by a certain date, we buckled down and made it happen, and in the process ended up feeling so much better about ourselves and our house.

At work I operate under deadlines all the time. Often I'm creating 30 second commercial spots from scratch in two to three days. The project I'm working on now, a half-hour, multi-chapter training package, has a long deadline of two and a half weeks from now. But given the size of the project, I know that the time will pass quickly, so I find myself highly focused, but relaxed, everyday. The work days evaporate when I'm under deadline, which is great. There's nothing I hate more than slow work weeks, when the days crawl past. Being under deadline makes my job more exciting, and makes the time fly by.

If only I could work out a way to be under deadline with everything I need to do in my life. I know I'd procrastinate far less and I'd be much more efficient. Maybe if I hired goons to threaten me with physical harm if I don't accomplish "A" by a certain time. Or set automated emails of embarrassing stories to be sent to friends and family if not deactivated by a certain point by a password I can only access by completing specific tasks. Even if any of that wasn't ridiculous, I'd procrastinate setting it up, so it wouldn't likely help me. I'll just have to be content with the deadlines I do have naturally, and work to be as efficient when I'm not under the gun.

Okay, I have to finish this. I have an 8:00 deadline looming...I need to get ready for work. See. Deadlines work.

Quiet Solitary Mornings

Most of the time, I'd rather get up with Kate. But sometimes, especially early in the morning, getting up alone to a quiet house is very nice. Especially on work days. I appreciate the time to be with my thoughts, to get myself prepared, to move slowly and methodically. I like the feeling that somehow you're stealing hours from the day that don't normally exist. Like you're existing in some sort of time bubble, sealed off from a world in suspended animation. A lone consciousness piercing a sleeping planet.

It's why I've always liked arriving really early for work, before anyone else gets in. Leaving proportionally early at the end of the day never seems to work out, though. Probably because the rest of the world is unaware of the extra two or three hours I managed to stash in a 24 hour day.

Of course it's really only special when it happens occasionally. Frequency breeds familiarity, and I'd rather sleep anyway.

French Vanilla and All of Its Delicious Brethren

Flavored artificial coffee creamers occupy a very warm place in my heart.  And my stomach.  They've become an integral part of my morning routine, and their absence is hard felt when I run out and forget to repurchase.

I like coffee on its own.  I do.  But only really good coffee has the legs, for me, to stand naked, but for a coat of half and half and a lump of sugar.  And no coffee ever goes completely buck naked down my gullet.  Black coffee, for me, is exactly like sucking on a bar of completely unsweetened chocolate.  No one does that except ascetic monks in Hershey, PA.

The coffee we have at work is great because it's free.  But that's its only redeeming quality.  It smells like burnt shell casings, and tastes as if it was brewed two decades ago using a hobo's tube sock for a filter.  Flavored coffee creamers are the only thing standing between me, that coffee, and gangrene of the throat.

Okay.  So that's a bit overly dramatic.  The coffee isn't remotely that bad.  But it isn't great. And since I enjoy a cup of coffee every morning, it presents a great opportunity to try the huge assortment of flavors available in today's coffee creamer arsenal.

If I had to pick a top five, it would be, in particular order, White Chocolate Coconut, Italian Sweet Creme, Mint Chocolate, Raspberry Something or Other (I can't exactly remember), and plain old French Vanilla.  But there are so many good choices.  You could have a different flavor everyday and not run out until you did.

I'm sure they're not good for me, though.  Artificial coagulants and sugar drenched chemical flavorings are probably just the beginning of what you shouldn't be putting in your body.  But I'm taking the risk because of the love content.  200% of your daily recommended value of warmth and goodness.  That's hard to beat.

New Beginnings

A new chapter in my life began today. I was let go from my job. But I now get to pursue a new profound way of life...a new adventure is around the corner and I'm not going to let this happening bring me down. Unbeknown to many, I've happily been pursuing a new career as a freelance event photographer for a couple months now. I will not be paid for most of my first events, but once I've gained enough experience I will start feeling confident enough to ask for payment.

I feel okay about what occurred today. I have been given the freedom to explore my next chapter. I am the kind of person who wants to venture into different careers. I've been in the video/film industry for 7, almost 8 years now. Yes I would like to stay close to my roots, but I would like to explore my own artistic talents now and see if I can survive off them. Cheers to Julianna, Brett, Judy, Liz and Tykia, the other victims of today's cuts. I will be in touch! Judy please send me your info.

Stay strong, life has only begun.

Taking a Big One for the Team

You already know from Kate's entry what happened today.  This is her topic to talk about, I know.  I tried coming up with something else, but any other topic felt disingenuous considering the gravity of today's events.  So I'm taking things from a slightly different perspective.

It's never a great thing to lose your job.  Even knowing that, in the end, you'll probably be happier and better off, it's still a scary prospect.  But things could be worse, at least on the group level.  Any given company could, instead of letting a few employees go, try soldiering on with a full staff, and risk bleeding dry and having to shut down entirely.  Here, sacrifices made by the few, willing or not, save the rest of us.

No one wants to be the sacrificial lamb.  And those that still have jobs as a result should be thankful to their unwilling benefactors.  I know it's sort of morbid, but I'm indebted to the few who took a bullet to save the many.  Kate and I would be in a far worse situation if Renegade had to shutter its doors and we both lost our jobs.

So thank you Kate, Juli, Judy, Brett, Tykia and Liz for falling, or rather, being shoved onto the grenade to spare the rest of us.  If there's anything I can do to help any of you, please let me know.

Flexible Employers

This is yesterday's entry.  Sorry for the late posting.  Earlier this morning I tried writing last night's, but my internet wasn't working.

So, I've had a frustrating day hanging drywall.  None of my measurements were working out correctly, and then I ruined a whole sheet...yadda yadda.  I decided to flip the situation over and look at the positive side.  The fact that my employer is flexible enough to make last minute vacations for hanging drywall possible in the first place.  It's a small perk, but it can come in very handy.

I haven't gotten as much done this workation week as I'd hoped, and I'm thinking about asking my boss if I can work two weeks of night shifts.  I get so much more done on the house during the day than I can get done at night.  Assuming client schedules permit, I'm sure he'll say yes.

I'm very glad that my company understands that people have personal lives, and sometimes those lives don't fit neatly around a 9:00 to 5:30 schedule.

Shorter work weeks

Yep, we went back to work today, after a 4 day vacation in FL. At least I only have 3 days to go. 5 day work weeks can drain the hell out of you. On my first day back we had a rush day that made me and J have to stick around till 8pm. A nice 11 hr day to come home to. I really can't think of anything else to write about, cause all I can really think about is how much I miss my family. My nephews are the best and I wish I could be near them all the time. So here's to a four day week, may it be fast and productive. Let's keep it positive and painless. Nite, Nite!