It feels good to feel good..

I feel like my personality is really shining more and more these days. It's getting me sales for Our 365 and it just gave me a new job opportunity. I've been hired at a daycare and I need to make my decision to take it or not by Monday. I would love being able to just play with babies and kids all day. It might be stressful at times, but you have to feel good doing that job and the kids have to make you laugh throughout the day. I do like my job at Our 365, so decisions..decisions... I would be working one on one with children and really learn if working with kids is what I want to do with my life at this point. I went into the interview with a very easy going attitude and I feel I answered the interview questions very well. It helped that the girl interviewing me was my age and her co-worker was also very young. I see potential for growing friendships and working in a less stressful environment. I will let you all know what I decide of course. Work is really coming in for me and I really think it has a lot to do with my new confidence and my profound self-assurance.

Sometimes it's Hard to Do This

Somedays it's hard to come up with something positive. Right now we're embroiled in a mess brought on by nosy neighbors and sour grapes, and it's hard to see any light in the tunnel. Writing an entry about something positive is very hard to do right now.

But in the midst of all the crap, if you pause and reflect you realize that even this won't last forever. Things may suck right now, but eventually they won't. You just have to do whatever it is you can do in the moment to push things forward knowing that eventually you'll come out the other end.

And in those brief moments some of the negative drops away and the churning in your stomach subsides and you feel a little more peaceful. They may not last long, but they are a reminder that you're not going to feel overwhelmed forever.

Let it Out!

I kind of appreciate having a mental/emotional breakdown every so often, because it reminds me how powerful your emotions can be and it makes you feel really alive. With all the medications people are on these days you rarely see people in true form, instead everyone lives on an even keel with no big high or low moments.

It's just like how having a good cry every so often is a great way to release stress and anxiety. I don't understand sometimes how guys seem to never express their emotions. I couldn't live like that. When I have something to express I need to get it out and I'm not waiting for a more appropriate time.

The angry pathetic nut case can re-cog-nize!

I'm feeling particularly edgy today. I don't know what's in the air. I like that I can finally recognize when I'm hitting the top level of my stress and anxiety. Yes, the meds are working or maybe I am finally having a realization. I've always taken things too seriously and have always allowed stress to rip me to sheds both emotionally and physically. I am so relieved that I now able to control that to a degree.  I'm not entirely healed, that may never happen. I know being this way is part of who I am and I bet some of my achievements could have faultered if I hadn't beat myself up on the way there. I know that this entry is a bit personal, but whoever's reading this still must truely respect and enjoy what we are doing. I am so proud to have the abilty to take control of my feelings and actions, staying confident and sure of myself in the process. There are times like today where I see myself building into that angry pathetic nut case again, and I now just yell and scream in my head some and of course make a couple small wrong turns, but this time I ended on a positive note. Cheers to the start of a new me.