Can An Infrequent Negative Be Considered a Positive?

I'm not sure the answer. I've been sitting here for about ten minutes or so, pondering an entry topic. All the while a rave party is raging next door. College kids. They're actually a good group of guys. They always stop by ahead of time to make sure we're good with their plans, and they've given us their phone number in case things get too loud. And they do, but not so much that we can't deal with it. And they happen very infrequently, so I thought, "Count your blessings, Jason. Surely it's a positive thing that you only have to put up with the noise occasionally."

But is that positive? I'm not sure. Is it a positive thing that you only painfully bite your lip occasionally? Nobody wants to bite their lip. Even though the pain is fleeting, it is intense for that brief moment, and you'd avoid the experience if you could. So could even one instance of biting you lip be considered positive?

I suppose on the one hand it is. Chance are that eventually you're going to bite your lip. It's inevitable. So, accepting that a life without painfully bitten lips is impossible, the positivity of the situation escalates the less frequently this unfortunate situation occurs. The less often you can manage to experience inevitable pain, the more positive you should feel about it.

It's the same with any uncontrollable, accidental occurrence. Even if you can't predict exactly what the accident or random badness will be, you know that occasional bad luck is inevitable. So experiencing those flashes of nastiness infrequently is positive.

But in the case of loud frat parties I'm not sure the same logic holds. You can control whether things like that happen. If I wanted to be a total $#@%, I could tell my neighbors that I've got no tolerance for blaring music, and if they do it, I'll call the cops. I'm not a total $#@%, so I wouldn't and haven't done that, but I could. The point is, while it's impossible not to occasionally stub your toe, it is possible to live house-party free. And if it's possible for a particular negative situation not to ever occur, then even infrequent occurrences really can't be deemed positive.

If getting punched in the face was something you could safely avoid your entire life, then getting punched in the face even once in a lifetime would be negative. If something never has to happen, and it does, that occurrence will always suck. And once in a lifetime is as infrequent as you can get. But getting punched once is negative. Biting your lip once a year is positive.

It probably has more to do with thresholds. For any given negative situation, or really any situation at all (I like ice cream, but I can only each so much) we each have a particular threshold, beyond which we can no longer tolerate things. As long as we stay under that threshold we consider it a win. So my threshold for lip biting far exceeds my threshold for getting kicked in the huevos. To be precise, my threshold for the latter is zero. My house-party threshold is a bit higher, a limit that is raised even higher by the fact my neighbors are considerate enough to warn us. My threshold for losing feeling in my right leg while driving because my wallet is cutting of circulation exceeds the party limit be a good bit. Lip biting comes in just a hair higher than that. And then, on the extreme opposite end of the spectrum my threshold for the dinner we had tonight (and the three nights previous to this one), pasta with awesome homemade meat and veggie sauce, is nearly infinite.

And some thresholds modify others. I'd easily be able to reset my lip-biting threshold to once a day if I could try my hand at besting my limitless pasta eating threshold on a nightly basis. But that would probably cause me to exceed my threshold for the size of my waistline. So clearly none of this exists in a vacuum.

Shout it Out Ellen!!

Alright, I finally did it! I sent a letter to the Ellen Degeneres Show about our blog. It feels good to get it out there, how wonderful it would be if she talks about it on air. Even though a lot of my entries are boring I still think we both have accomplished an amazing feat by keeping this going so long. I feel more positive and confident and would love to see others try this out. It's a great way to get each day going on a positive note.

Here's the letter. I wish I had cracked more jokes, like "check out my awesome entry on cheese" or 80s music for some deep thinking.


Dear Ellen,
Hi my name is Kate and like many I am a huge admirer of yours and your show puts a smile on my face everyday.

I wanted to share with you something my boyfriend, Jason and I have been doing for the past 9 1/2 months that has really changed our perspective on life. Jason had the idea of starting a blog that we would begin the beginning of 2009 where everyday each of us would write an entry about any positive aspect in our life. The entries can be any length. We've now written over 500 entries and it's really remarkable to us that we've kept this going so long. We've both really grown through this experiment. Jason has really grown as a writer and even through my writing isn't up to par with his I do feel I've grown into a much more happier person. Our subjects range from our entertainment loves (you've definitely been mentioned in a few of mine), to our food cravings, to how grateful we are for our wonderful family and friends, to overcoming life challenges (such as losing my job six months ago). Jason's entries can be crazy scientific sometimes, but that's what he loves and why I love him. It would be amazing to see Jason's entries published one day, his writing is very profound.


I wanted to share this life experiment with you and with as many others as I can. It's been a challenge to think of a new topic everyday, but we somehow find positivity in something everyday. I feel if life's getting you down, this is a great way to test yourself in becoming a more positive thinker.

Thanks so much,
Kate

The address is:
http://positiveyear.blogspot.com/

This Blog Should Be Counted

I think it's safe at this point to make a comment about the progress off this small experiment, as we're nearly eight months in. And I definitely think it's fair to place this blog into itself as a uniquely positive experience.

Is it positive in the way we expected? I won't speak for Kate. For me, the jury's still out. I don't know that I'm generally more optimistic than I was before we began. I always imagined, when we started this, that we'd be searching for our topics each day, throughout the day, thereby creating a habit that would continue on after the year was complete. That doesn't happen. Generally Kate and I come up with our topics sitting in front of the computer. Not always, but most of the the time. And that is a practice that will end when the year is finished. So I'm not sure that the sort of lasting benefit we imagined at the start of this blog will be realized. At least not in the totality we were hoping for.

However, there are several other benefits that we didn't expect that we've reaped in spades. For me, the opportunity to write everyday has been enormously beneficial. I feel like I've grown a good deal (I hope) in my writing abilities, in my understanding of the process, and in my ability to share my thoughts. Never in my life have I had the opportunity to do so much writing on so many topics. Nor have I ever had the proper motivation to do that sort of work. Writing, in the past, say in school or at work, has often felt like a chore. And while I've always been good at business writing, I've only recently had the chance to develop a more conversational style. I'm really liking it, and I'd like to continue blogging in some form after this year is over.

Another benefit has been in our relationships with friends and family. I feel like we've gotten closer to a lot of people through this process, as we share pieces of ourselves. I can't tell you how often one of us has started a story with someone we know, only to realize that our friend's already heard about it because of the blog. It's really nice to know that people are reading it and that people are enjoying it. It would be much harder to do this everyday if we thought we were writing to a brick wall.

But probably more than all of these, writing the blog has helped clarify things in our own minds. It's been a good tool to shed light on ourselves for ourselves. I always laugh at the concept of "getting to know yourself". If there's anyone you should know everything about, it's you. But it's just not the case. Your brain has a way of obfuscating and muddling your own thoughts in such a way that sometimes you can't really be sure how you feel about things. But the truth is that you do know. You simply, for one reason or another choose to fool yourself. But getting things out on paper helps peel away the layers and get at the heart of things. Writing can be a great tool for self-discovery or, more precisely, calling yourself on your own shit. By writing daily on positive things, it's forced me to look at what I really love about life and what doesn't matter. That's probably the biggest benefit of all.

Moment of Positive Reflection Part 1

Positive reflection is my focus lately and what I choose to live my life around. We have to venture towards the positive and hope that life will bring us comfort and love in return. We need to view each other as equals in the the same united world. Once we have embraced equality and have united as one, the human race will together strive to heal the environmental dangers that we have caused surrounding us. We need to work together, we need to feel loved by all. If all we have is this one moment to be, then let's all be together.