Renegade Love

We went to the Renegade Holiday Party last night and as always it was a blast. I really love a lot of those folks. They know me so well and I really can be myself when I'm around them. It was even more interesting being there as a guest and not an employee. It was bittersweet; at times I was sad not to be part of the family and other times I was happy to have a separate life. I was a lot more open and friendly with everyone, especially the employee's wives and husbands. It was like being part of a new club of outsiders. Jason got trashed and I stayed somewhat sober all night so I could drive him home. I had so many laughs, meaningful conversations, and even got to get my dance on. I really had an amazing time and yes I miss seeing those folks on a daily basis, but it also makes seeing them at the occasional gathering all that more special.

Friends: A Garden Analogy

I'm sure I'm not the only person to have ever come up with this analogy, but I've been pondering an entry for tonight, and this is what came to me. I apologize for the repetition if someone else has already written something similar. If it's completely original, excellent. Please enjoy, and remember that it's copyright © 2009 Jason Bloom, all rights reserved.

And it's going to sound like a motivational poster, or one of those heart-warming chain emails. It can't be helped.

I was thinking that friendship is like a garden, and most of the friends you'll make in life are like the plants. There are the weeds, of course. Friends that you can't seem to get rid of. Friends that you know aren't good for you, but you can't leave behind. They may have even been wanted plants at one point, plants that have now grown out of control, to the detriment of the rest of your garden. Those "friends" need to be plucked out by the root and thrown away for good. But a well-tended garden should be mostly free of them.

Most of the plants in a well-kept garden are meant to be there. Some are the annuals, lasting for a short time and then going back out of your life. We all have had friends like that. Beautiful while they last, but destined to be temporary.

Others are like perennials, returning year after year, getting stronger and fuller with age. These are the friends you develop lasting relationships with. Friendships that change over time, gaining and losing prominence in your overall garden, but always returning. These friends stay with you through drought and flood, feast and famine. However...

Both the annuals and perennials require care. The plants require watering, feeding and tending to remain healthy. Same with the friendships. Ignore them, stop tending to them, or take them for granted, and they can die. They won't necessarily, of course, but you very much increase the risk.

But every garden contains some rocks, and these are your true friends. Friends that will be there no matter what. Allow every plant in your garden to whither and die, and the rocks will still be there. In fact the soil in your garden is just finely ground rock. So the rocks in your garden allow every other friendship to grow. They provide the foundation. A garden without rocks is a barren garden indeed.

Thankfully almost no one has a "rockless" garden.

Feel free to imagine whatever inspirational imagery you'd like to accompany the above analogy.

Upcoming Fun

Almost every weekend this month is filled with fun activities. It's great to have fun times to look forward to. There's a camping trip with my dear friends from the South for Lauren's B-Day and a trip I might take to NYC to see my girl Brooke perform her comedy act for the first time. Then there's Julianna's birthday party at Boordy Vineyard, with live music and plenty of wine. I know I have no money, but I'll really keep spending to a minimum. I've been pretty down these days with having a little human contact with my friends, but these upcoming events will really help me out and I just can't wait to see all my friends.

I Heart Alicia

Alicia Taft is a very dear friend of mine. She was the first person to befriend me when I first started at Renegade 5 years ago. She came over to hang out yesterday. We had some great girl talk and she strongly feels teaching would be a great career for me. When I started at Renegade she did not drive and I offered my services to take her home. She just happens to live right near my uncle Don in Parkville, she went to school with my cousins and we would have possibly known each other growing up if I would have stayed verses moving on SC in 89, since we would have gone to all the same schools. She would have been two grades under me though. It's such a small world when you really think about it.

She did used to drive me a bit crazy, but now I heart her very much. I can be very honest with her and her with me. We understand each other. Jason and her are very close friends too, so the common relationship is great amongst the three of us. I miss being with them during work hours, the chats we would have were so therapeutic. We both need to make a conscience effort to visit each other more. Alicia, thanks for being such a great friend. Now pick up your damn phone!

Stephanie Bloom Miller

Today is my sister's birthday - Happy Birthday Steph! Since this is a blog all about the positive, I can't think of a better place or time to call out Steph for being one the coolest people I know. It also doesn't hurt that she's one of our regular readers, so I know she'll see this.

Bloom. Bloom Miller. Miller. Mamabird. Whatever you prefer these days. You're an awesome chick. You've always been your own person, and you the older you get the more you distinguish yourself. No matter what role you take on in life, you take it on with gusto and passion, and claim it wholeheartedly as your own. As a hipster in high school and college, you embodied the image without being a caricature. As a waitress you were loved, as the bottles of Dom Perignon gifted by grateful customers attest. You seem to know as much, if not more, than most dental surgeons, without a day of schooling. You're a photographer, a gardener and a pet therapist, all claimed with equal vigor. As a sister, you're devoted and thoughtful, and I can say with no reservations that once you formally step into the role of "Mommy" you'll do a smashing job.

I've had the pleasure of knowing you your whole life, and most of mine. I've seen some pretty poor examples of sibling relationships over the years, and I'm pretty blessed to have been able to grow up with you as a friend. I'm quite sure I wouldn't be half the person I am today if I hadn't had you around. I have friends that grew up as only children, and I'm glad that wasn't something I had to face. Having a sibling around helped kill boredom and turned everyday into a play date. I can't imagine having grown up any other way. And of all the 29,000,000,000,000 alternate genetic combinations Mom and Dad could have scrambled out back in 1977, none could have been better than you.

Happy Birthday Steph. I'm glad to be your brother, and I'm glad that I can make you "Positive Thing Number 101." Love you.

Nine day tills Babybird rocks the mic.

Old Friends

My old high school buddy Eric has lived in Florida ever since his parents moved down here before our senior year. We've kept in touch since then, with longer and longer stretches elapsing between periods of catching up. Now we really only talk when he happens to be in Maryland on business or I happen to travel to Florida. Which I do now, at least once a year with Kate to visit her family. And no matter how much time has passed, we can pick up right where we left off.

Good old friends are like that, and they're rare. But the beautiful thing is they don't require any maintenance. The friendship is there whether you talk or not. Whether you get a chance to hang out or not. You don't have to think about it. There aren't too many things in life that stay constant without constant supervision.

If You've Got Good Friends...

...you don't need much else.  This is going to be a short entry tonight because it's late and I have to get up early to meet with my accountant to finish my taxes.

What?  Taxes isn't the subject of tonight's entry?  Why else you would mention them in your introductory paragraph?

Tonight's entry is a simple truism, but one that everyone can appreciate.  Like Kate said, we had a few friends over for a hanging out and "oh, look...the Superbowl's on" party.  And earlier in the day Kate and I attended my sister's baby shower (men, I've discovered that baby showers are exactly like regular parties, except there is a lot more talk about breast pumps, stretch marks, and the relative benefits of differing lotions and skin balms.)

It was a great day filled with great people, great conversation, and barely a single morsel of food that wasn't intended to be dipped in another foodstuff.  Really, great friends and family are what make life interesting.  It's easy to get trapped in your own stuff sometimes and forget to reach out, but keeping important people in your life and around you is the secret to happiness.  One of them, at least.

Wine

I am a big fan of wine, both red and white, as long as it's pretty good. I wish I knew more about the different kinds and how to smell and taste wines. Tonight Jason and I had a get together at our house. It was kind of about watching the Superbowl, but it was mostly about hanging out with dear friends. We drank wine all night and it was a fabulous time. Finally our house is done enough to have a few friends over and not feel embarrassed. It's going to be a work in progress for a while. But we had it christened tonight with a few friends, a few bottles of wine and animportant football game. Go Steelers, I believe they won. Good night!

The Time You Had, Not the Time You Won't Have

So Banjo isn't looking very good.  It's seems a struggle for him just to sit up and walk.  After his force-feeding this evening, Kate said (I missed it, I was cleaning the syringe) that he tried walking in from the hallway and then collapsed flat out, as if he were completely drained.  We're taking him back to the vet tomorrow morning, and I have the awful feeling they're going to recommend putting him to sleep.  And probably right then.

So I was having a tough time coming up with my positive for today.  I considered something goofy, totally out of context from real-life, but that seemed disingenuous.  I decided to focus on Banjo, and came up with sort of a corollary to an earlier post I made.  As I'm facing the almost certain loss of a beloved pet, I should keep my attention on the 14 years he was around.  The 14 years we got to spend together.  The 14 years of friendship.  Focusing on the loss, and his absence once he's gone, accomplishes nothing.

So that's what I'm going to do.  If he has to go tomorrow, I'll let him.  It'll suck for sure, but then he'll be out of pain and I can still keep the previous 14 years in my heart.

I'll just pretend he's living on a farm in Iowa somewhere.

I love our cats

Our cat Banjo hasn't been feeling well lately. The vet listed a few scenarios that could explain his symptoms, and so far tests have ruled out everyone of them except for an extreme shift in food preference and cancer. And Banjo's never been terribly finicky. It's a very strange experience. Banjo has been healthy his entire life. I honestly can't remember a time in the last 14 years when he's been even slightly ill. I was beginning to imagine that he was either the feline equivalent of a Highlander, or just too dim to figure out how to get sick (Banjo's agile and friendly...but he's not a triple threat.)

So to suddenly seem him sleeping all the time, not eating, and slinking around with his head low, breaks my heart. In the process though, I'm reminded about just how important he, and DB, and now Midnight (Kate's cat) are to me. I figure I've known Banjo and DB longer than most of the people in my life. In a very real sense, they are two of my oldest friends. And my only non-english speaking friends.

So yeah. I love our cats. It's an obvious positive, I'll admit. But it's not until you're faced with potential loss that you realize fully what it is you have.

Friends

I like catching up with old friends, and Internet social networks have been very useful here. Tonight I got caught up with my college friend, Nichole on Facebook. It felt as though no time had past. We all need true friendship in our lives, it does not matter if you don't talk everyday, when the time is right, your paths will cross again.