Positivity Wrapped Up

Hello followers, thanks for sticking around, we have truly appreciated your support throughout the year. I cannot believe it's now 2010 and that we've managed to complete this experiment to it's fullest. I've never typed this much in my life. I can say that I was only happy with about 60% of my entries which I know is not very positive. But, I'm aware I am not a stellar writer and this brought that more to the surface for me. I prefer to write in fragments, brief thoughts, and poetic verse.

This blog has traveled with me through the start of my photography career, losing my job, nine months of unemployment, my medical assistant pursuit, to my now teaching aspirations, to my new job in day-care, to my beautiful wedding engagement. 2009 couldn't have been more life alternating for me and now I have it completely documented. I've kept up journal writing through most of my younger years and this process has been very therapeutic in that same regard. I feel I know myself better. I feel more confident in my own skin. I think this experiment effected me more deeply than Jason, just because I was writing during such life changing times. I became a stronger person when I was unemployed and got to explore all my passions. I did love and appreciate this experience. I know now that I need calming devises around me when my life gets tense and stressful. Exercise, music, films, and my favorite foods to name a few. I feel more positive, I really do. Whenever I sense Jason getting negative, I catch myself getting negative with him. I don't like when I do this and I'm glad I'm immediately aware of it, so I usually find myself stepping out of the situation and concentrating on the positive.

Top big projects that we need to stay positive about are selling the Towson House, affording all the bills including our two mortgages, getting my teaching certificate and becoming a teacher, getting the city house finished, getting my photography career moving and shaking again, and getting a wedding plans together. We have each other to get through these tough projects. We can achieve anything together.

Things I think of when times get me down: My loving mom and dad, my sister and Allen, and their wonderful growing boys, Kaiden and Blake. My grandmom, who needs positivity more than ever. My new dreams of helping and teaching children achieve and grow. Cooking delicious food with my wonderful fiance, Jason. My new loving family- Jan, David, Steph, John, Lou, Karin, Grandpa, and Jackson. And all of our other family members and friends. Starting a new garden next Spring. Starting any new project with Jason. Finishing our city home together. Being a bride walking down the aisle to my beautiful, kind, heartfelt soon to be husband, Jason.

I love you dear, we can move mountains together. I hope all your writing dreams come true. I believe in you- Stay Positive!

DS Lite

Let me first preface by saying that Jason and I weren't going to mention that we bought each other presents for Christmas/Hanukkah since money was slim this year and very few people got gifts from us, but we did end up getting each other something small. Our 4 year anniversary is coming up in a couple days as well and we aren't probably doing anything, but going out for a cheap dinner.

Anyways, we got each other gifts- I got him this painting he's had his eye on at the Renaissance Festival for years and he got me a used Nintendo DS Lite. It's a portable gaming device that I absolutely love. He bought me the red one, since he knows that's one of my favorite colors. We played it together throughout our travels the past week and it was a blast. We got this game called Scribblenauts that's so much fun. You are tasked to solve these puzzles and actions and you type in any object and it will just appear. It's hard to explain, but very interesting and a blast to play.

Anyways I love my gift babe, oh and I love the ring you gave me even more. It's hard to keep my eyes off its sparkle as I play my games.

Big Love

You've all shared all sorts of kind sentiments since our big news and I just wanted to give thanks to all our wonderful family and friends for all their love and support. You are all the best and we are so happy to have you all in our lives. A lot of you had a lot to do the with us being together...Kara, Alicia, Linda, Jim...most of you are from Renegade and welcomed our relationship with open arms. I'm happy to have you all still in our life. Our families have been so warm and loving. Again you all mean the world to us and we cherish each and every one of you. Can't wait to party down with all you at our wedding. And no, we have not set a date yet if you're wondering.

My Ring

My ring is beautiful, I've never had something so beautiful on my hand before. I felt different all day as I wore it, like I was a new woman. Thank you sweetheart, the ring you picked out for me is simply gorgeous.

Alright I've had a long two days of blizzards, plane rides, engagements, and loud crazy-loving family members. It's time to pass out.

Thanks for all the wonderful kind words. Love to you All!

My Forever Love

I do....I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Jason, I love you with all my heart.

Sweet n "Saur" Cabbage Soup

Man oh man, I just made the best soup ever. I never really accomplished a great soup before and now I can say I have. It was a Rachel Ray recipe I saw her make on her 30 Minute Meal show. It looked like it would taste great and be easy to make so I went for it. It was called Sweet n "Saur" (as is sauerkraut) Cabbage Soup. I have never enjoyed sauerkraut by itself, but I knew Jason was a big fan of it so I made it regardless. I knew Jason would love it and I hoped to like it at least. I've really been branching out food wise and thought this would be another taste challenge.

It was all made in one pot, which was fantastic. I would really like to find more soup recipes made in one pot. The main ingredients were ham steak, savoy cabbage, sauerkraut, carrots, onion, canned white beans, and frozen hash browns seasoned with honey, chicken stock, fresh dill, and apple cider. Neither Jason nor I had tried a soup like this. Once it's heated up you mix in a spoonful of sour cream. It was a little hard for my taste buds to handle it at first, I had to really let it develop in my mouth. By the next day I was madly in love with the taste.

It has very German-Polish type favors, which is my ancestry. I'm thinking of making a big batch of it for Christmas for my whole family to enjoy. It would be great to have around when people get peckish. This is one of those -"I have to share entries".

To enjoy the soup for yourself go to:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sweet-n-saur-cabbage-soup-recipe/index.html

Tree of Lights

I love the tradition of putting up a Christmas tree every year. We always had fake ones growing up, but it always looked so festive and really got me in the mood for the holidays. I couldn't wait to see presents under the tree. Even as an adult just seeing other people's presents under a tree gets me in a joyous mood. I love seeing just a glimpse of trees through people's windows, it can be so beautiful.

I love the tradition of hanging all the ornaments on the tree. I remember doing this with my mom as a kid and just loving unwrapping all the old ornaments and delicately placing them on the tree until the whole thing was covered with colorful memories and lights.

Jason and I agreed that this year will not be a year of big gift buying, but instead I'm hoping to get a real tree for the first time, just a small one. This small tree will give the house a little taste of holiday magic. That's all I'm asking for this year. I'll buy a string of lights and a few cheap ornaments. This and seeing my family for the holidays is all I want for Christmas.

Thank Yous Part 2

I am thankful for my awesome cats, DB and Midnight.

I am thankful for my almost finished newly renovated home that Jason and I created together.

I am thankful for all my extended family, I hope all our paths meet again soon.

I am thankful for my grandmom, Jackie. She was recently put in a nursing home and I thank all the people who have been watching over her in these hard times - Dawn, Michelle, CJ, Georgia, Dave, my mom, my sister, and everyone else who has shown their unconditional support and love for granny. I know she is thankful for you all. I am thankful for the many happy times I've spent with her over the years. I know she is still with us, though her mind is slowly fading. Live the rest of your days in peace grandmom, we are all thankful for everything you have given us. God Bless you Grandma.

Thanks to Leftovers

Thanksgiving leftovers are in my opinion better than the real thing, especially since I started getting two Thanksgiving dinners every year, Jason's dad's on Thursday and Jason's mom's on Saturday. Now I can eat the best of each meal for however long they last. I just have a love for comfort food and we don't mind leftovers at all. It's one of our best similarities, we are not picky eaters. It was Jason's birthday today and I did promise him pizza, but when we looked at all the leftovers we couldn't resist eating that for dinner tonight. I promise lovey, I will get you pizza as soon as the leftovers run out.

Happy Birthday Jason!! I love you!

Wonders, Questions, and Balance

When I was younger I used to wonder about the many different "whys" in life, I would have deep conversations with older people or just listen to their fascinating analytical thoughts about the world. I would be completely enthralled and write about my findings and dreams when I had alone time. I was such a deep thinker in high school and I would only surround myself with people similar to me.

I feel the older I get the less patience I have for listening to profound wonderings and the less I come up with my own. I guess once you become an adult you lose your focus on the true unknowns of the world and only allow yourself to focus on what tasks will get you through each day. I miss those times and the person I used to be. Jason is very much a thinker and thought provoker. This is one of the many reasons why I love him and it's also why he can drive me crazy at times. He tries to get me thinking all the time and I somehow very rarely latch on to his ideas or questions about the world. I really wish I could escape like he does. But it's hard when you feel we'll never get to where we are going or get the laundry finished if we keep escaping into our own heads. I wish for a balance, a way I could escape with him every so often and at the same time be responsible.

Really, a nice all-inclusive vacation is what we need. Jason, this does mean that you have full range to talk my ear off once we are on this vacation. You can moderately tell your wonders and I will be able to do the same. We will also have to add in some time for peace and quite, which is also one of my favorite things.

Holiday Hugs

Well it's official, Jason and I will have to take an easy on spending too much for the holidays. The biggest reason is that the rental offer we had on the house has been cancelled, we found out this afternoon, 30 minutes before Jason was suppose to meet the renters to sign the lease and get the first rental payment. It's really ridiculous how little notice they gave us. We will now have little to no extra $ till the house gets another offer. I know none of this is very positive, but what I'm getting at is even though gifts will be non-existent this season I still can't wait to spend quality time with Jason's family and my family this holiday season. The true meaning of the holidays is to be with the ones you love. The people that love you unconditionally no matter your financial situation. I really love you all and can't wait for the holidays to start. Jason and I have had pretty tough times this year with my unemployment and our many house issues, all I really want are hugs from the ones I love.

The Heaven of Food: Wegmans

Wegmans is the most amazing grocery store I've ever been to, it has everything you could possibly imagine. I don't go in there much knowing how much I could possibly end up spending. There's one right near my new and old work place. I went there after work the other day and only allowed myself to carry around a small basket. I seem to discover something new every time I go there. This time I discovered the organic and herbal aisle they have. They have an entire section of organic energy drinks. It's like everything they have at whole foods plus all the stuff they have at your general grocery store put under one roof. An awesome gift would be a gift certificate for Wegmans. Jason and I would have a ball.

They have so many different selections of fresh fish, cut meat, cheese galore, pre-made salads, and so much more. You can just go there for lunch, grab a tray and have your choice of homemade soups, fresh Chinese food, sushi, fried chicken, gourmet sandwiches, and fresh fruit for desert. Then you can sit in there large food court and enjoy an awesome lunch with your co-workers. The options are endless no matter what isle you are on. Wegmans definitely intimidates me and going in there is scary at times, but it is truly an absolutely glorious mecca for food lovers.

Next Blog Already...

I'm excited to start a new personal blog after this initial one has ran it's course come January. Don't get me wrong I have really enjoyed writing this one with Jason, but I just feel it's time we went our own way and wrote our own personal blogs this next time around. Jason is an extraordinary writer who deserves his own spotlight and I am not the best writer and would be better at doing entries involving recipes, crafts, or introspective journal type prose. I would love to start writing poetry again and hope I'll feel the inspiration to do just that. I'm exciting to start this new journey, one that is all mine. I really don't care if people read it or not.

I feel this blog has been truly therapeutic and continuing this brain download with another one will only further benefit me mentally and physically.

Thanks, whoever you are, for continuing to listen to our rants.

The Gift of Giving

Finding the perfect gift for someone can be so challenging, but once you figure it out it's so rewarding for you and the receiver. It feels good to know someone so well that knowing what will make them happy and pleased is very satisfying. I'm not really referring to anything particular, really it's just the idea of finding the perfect present and the feeling you get after you give that present out. Bringing great joy to someone special on a birthday, anniversary, holiday, or just because feels amazing. The light in their eyes, the smile on their face is breathtaking.

The holidays are shortly approaching and I've already given myself the best gift ever- Plane tickets for Jason and I to spend the Christmas holidays for my mom, dad, sister, Allen, and my two beautiful nephews, Kaiden and Blake. I can't wait to see you all, Love you with all my heart!

Yummy Family Traditions

I'm making one of my families Polish recipes tonight, Golabkis. This is one of the recipes that was passed down from my dad's dad's family that came over from Poland. I remember loving Golabkis when I was a child and I hope to make them just as good. For anyone who doesn't know, Golabkis are ground meat, onion, rice, and tomato sauce combined and rolled up in cabbage leaves.

I love making food from my heritage. My grandfather, when he was still around, would also make homemade Polish sausage (kielbasa). My uncle Don and Allen, my brother-in-law, have both started making homemade kielbasa from the original recipe. Jason and I would love to start making it ourselves. We would need to purchase a sausage maker, but one day we'll make the investment. It's so good in the morning with beets, eggs, and home fries.

Well Deserved Comfort

After a long day of hard labor there's nothing better than a hot shower and a cozy bed to lie in. Jason and I just finished getting the house ready for potential buyers. We put it on the market tomorrow.

I worked for Our365 this morning and then went over to the house to start working right afterwards. I worked at the house from 2pm to 10pm. I don't think I've ever worked that hard before. I'm finding bruises and scratches all over me and my feet and hands are raw and sore. But really all that truly matters is that it's complete. We of course may have to do a few touch-ups here and there, but the hard strenuous labor is over. When I got home I went straight into the bathroom and took a hot shower. It was probably my most well deserved shower and it felt amazing. I wish there was a way to take a shower sitting down. I guess you could have a bigger shower with a sit built in, that would be perfect. Now I'm laying in bed and ready to pass out, Jason won't stop talking. Sometimes all I need is quit and comfort. Good night!

Light is Approaching

The Stevenson House is not done yet. We've over shot two of our previous deadlines. But we're trying to keep positive the best we can. I can honestly finally say that I see a light at the end of this dark and stormy tunnel (especially stormy since it has practically been raining since we started this project). We only have cleaning and some painting to do and the house will be viewable. We have a new goal of having a perfect home by this Friday and I do see us finally making the set deadline. It's been a tough road, but Jason and I kept our heads up and soon our lives will go back to some form of normalcy.

Caring Unconditionally

I like the feeling I get when I'm caring for someone. I like being needed by another person or animal. I've noticed lately that I take care of Jason in many ways, doing his laundry, cleaning up after them. I know it's all part of growing up and being in a relationship. But I'm realizing now that I really enjoy being needed and caring for another person. Jason this does not mean I don't need you to help around the house anymore. We are in this together and it feels just as good when you help and care for me too. And if you don't do something to my liking I have no problem redoing it. The effort is there and that's all that matters.

DB, our Siamese cat, has been acting strange lately. He seems to not be eating and he's very frail and not being his loud attention-needing self. It saddens us knowing that his days are numbered. We've been watching him carefully and putting water and wet food around the house to see if he'll eat or drink them. He has started drinking liquids, but he only ate a little bit of the tuna we gave him, and since that's his favorite thing in the world we know now that he must be feeling really badly. He is our baby and we might lose him soon. I will be there for him every step of the way and care for him unconditionally because that is what keeps us strong

Bargain Shopping

The Nearly New Sale today, that Jason talked about in his blog yesterday, was slamming when we arrived there at 10:30 this morning. I thought I'd be too overwhelmed by the crowd to find anything, but I was wrong. I just took my time and found some great finds, like three new skirts that actually fit me, a green vase, nice comfy dressy shoes, a green glass food container, 5 or so new fiction books, a vintage sweater, and a wallet. Jason found books and toys for our nephews and a bunch of books and board games for himself to add to his collection. It was perfect we both ended up spending less than $40 a piece for all of that. I just love those kind of sales.

I think I'm going to go back on Thursday after work. Every goes to 1/2 price and it's held where a work at GBMC.

Give Life

Giving blood is a great way to give back. I got into giving blood more often since Jason's been in my life. He's been a persistent giver for a long time since he has a rare blood type. I just scheduled us for our next appointment, the phone call was long but all worth it. If it means we are helping to save lives than that's wonderful. Thanks Jason for getting me into this habit, we are two people giving hope to others. Give blood, give life.

Oh, and by the way Jason will have an appointment on Monday, November 2nd at 6:45 at the White Marsh location (8114 Sandpiper), I figured we could have dinner and catch a movie while we are in the area. Sound good?