Positivity Wrapped Up

Hello followers, thanks for sticking around, we have truly appreciated your support throughout the year. I cannot believe it's now 2010 and that we've managed to complete this experiment to it's fullest. I've never typed this much in my life. I can say that I was only happy with about 60% of my entries which I know is not very positive. But, I'm aware I am not a stellar writer and this brought that more to the surface for me. I prefer to write in fragments, brief thoughts, and poetic verse.

This blog has traveled with me through the start of my photography career, losing my job, nine months of unemployment, my medical assistant pursuit, to my now teaching aspirations, to my new job in day-care, to my beautiful wedding engagement. 2009 couldn't have been more life alternating for me and now I have it completely documented. I've kept up journal writing through most of my younger years and this process has been very therapeutic in that same regard. I feel I know myself better. I feel more confident in my own skin. I think this experiment effected me more deeply than Jason, just because I was writing during such life changing times. I became a stronger person when I was unemployed and got to explore all my passions. I did love and appreciate this experience. I know now that I need calming devises around me when my life gets tense and stressful. Exercise, music, films, and my favorite foods to name a few. I feel more positive, I really do. Whenever I sense Jason getting negative, I catch myself getting negative with him. I don't like when I do this and I'm glad I'm immediately aware of it, so I usually find myself stepping out of the situation and concentrating on the positive.

Top big projects that we need to stay positive about are selling the Towson House, affording all the bills including our two mortgages, getting my teaching certificate and becoming a teacher, getting the city house finished, getting my photography career moving and shaking again, and getting a wedding plans together. We have each other to get through these tough projects. We can achieve anything together.

Things I think of when times get me down: My loving mom and dad, my sister and Allen, and their wonderful growing boys, Kaiden and Blake. My grandmom, who needs positivity more than ever. My new dreams of helping and teaching children achieve and grow. Cooking delicious food with my wonderful fiance, Jason. My new loving family- Jan, David, Steph, John, Lou, Karin, Grandpa, and Jackson. And all of our other family members and friends. Starting a new garden next Spring. Starting any new project with Jason. Finishing our city home together. Being a bride walking down the aisle to my beautiful, kind, heartfelt soon to be husband, Jason.

I love you dear, we can move mountains together. I hope all your writing dreams come true. I believe in you- Stay Positive!

Mama's Recipes

I love making recipes pasted down from my mom. She will tell you herself that she does not enjoy cooking, but she does have a few recipes up her sleeve that are just delicious. Yesterday I made her creamed chicken casserole and it turned out wonderfully. It's so creamy and delicious, it has always been on the top of my favorite food list. I changed it up some my adding fresh steamed cauliflower and by adding spices like onion and garlic powder. You always cook up some buttery rolls to go with it. It's kind of like chicken pot pie when everything comes together. Thanks mom for passing these wonderful creations down to me we can't get enough of them.

Other top Mom Recipes:
Creamed Spinach
Tuna Noodle Casserole
Broccoli Casserole

Thank Yous Part 2

I am thankful for my awesome cats, DB and Midnight.

I am thankful for my almost finished newly renovated home that Jason and I created together.

I am thankful for all my extended family, I hope all our paths meet again soon.

I am thankful for my grandmom, Jackie. She was recently put in a nursing home and I thank all the people who have been watching over her in these hard times - Dawn, Michelle, CJ, Georgia, Dave, my mom, my sister, and everyone else who has shown their unconditional support and love for granny. I know she is thankful for you all. I am thankful for the many happy times I've spent with her over the years. I know she is still with us, though her mind is slowly fading. Live the rest of your days in peace grandmom, we are all thankful for everything you have given us. God Bless you Grandma.

My Thank Yous Part 1

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and I'm thankful for my loving-caring in-laws. They've all warmly excepted me into their homes time and time again. I am also very thankful for the understanding and supportive love of my life, Jason. I am thankful for this blog, it's been quite an accomplishment.

I am thankful for my wonderful mom and dad. I know I don't call them quite enough, but when we do I love and appreciate our talks. They have both been very supportive and I'm thankful that I'll get to spend some quality time with them in a month. I am thankful for my dear sister, Kerri. She is my rock through good times and bad. I'm thankful that she has a wonderful man in her life and I couldn't of ask for a better brother-in-law. I am thankful for my two beautiful, healthy nephews, Kaiden and Blake.

I'm feeling kind of under the weather, so I'm going to end this now. To be Continued...

Finding the Perfect Green

I've really enjoyed brainstorming what we're going to cook for our Thanksgiving dinners this year. I usually do the old family standby, broccoli casserole, which is always delicious, but I really wanted to do something different this year. I went through all the Thanksgiving recipes at foodnetwork.com and then I started going through the top 50 food blogs and really found some interesting things and some great sites.

We decided a few weeks ago that we would bring a green vegetable and we somehow were both thinking brussel sprouts. So that's been my focus for my search. I found a few winners today, but I'm going to keep my selection a secret, since I know Jason's family reads our blog.

And for those who don't know Jason has Thanksgiving with his dad's family on Thursday and with his mom's on Saturday. You won't see any complaints from me. I love Thanksgiving comfort food and can't wait for the festivities of stuffing our tummies begin.

Fun Times Close by

I really looking forward to this weekend. It's My Birthday Weekend! Friday I have a wedding to shoot, which will be a lot of fun hard work, then on Saturday Jason and I are chilling and my friend Lauren in coming into town, there's a few street festivals that day and then we might stop by Julianna's husbands 30th birthday surprise. Sunday is the day we're celebrating my birthday at the MD Renaissance Festival. It's always a great time. A few of my friends should be stopping by. It's weird for me to finally start seeing weekends for what they really are instead of just more days off for the unemployed. I feel like I'm fully employed with my photography gigs, Our365, Arbonne start up work and with studying for the Praxis every night. I wish I could see the results in monetary form, but it will accumulate with time.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of next week we're going to Ocean City with Jason's Dad, Step Mom, Stephanie, John and little Jackson. That should be a great little break from all the mind-scrabbling hecticness that is my life.

Toast, My Morning Glory

I love toast. My love for toast started when I was very little and my mom would make me cinnamon and sugar toast when I wasn't feeling well. It now reminds me of my mom and being a young girl. My favorite kinds of spreads are butter with peanut butter, butter with grape or blackberry jelly, and of course butter with cinnamon and sugar. I like trying new spreads, especially homemade ones I buy at the farmer's market. It's morning comfort food for me. It's simply delicious.

Reality Checks

Words of encouragement are sometimes all you need to pick yourself up again. Since I'm in such a great transition in my life, my moods seem to always be in constant flux. I never seem to be able to straighten my thoughts out before the next predicament strikes me. I need my friends and family to help me pump myself up again. My mom has been that person for me lately, she has done a great job of keeping me on track and talking me back to reality. I start forgetting that my new career voyage needs elements of stability, I start wanting to be a professional free spirit again (whatever that means) and my mom makes me release that only a real career will put food on the table and give me the proper benefits I need to live.

Yesterday I talked to my career counselor from unemployment to catch her up on my new career decision to become a teacher. She of course told me I was crazy, but that if I liked kids then to go for it. We talked for a long time and she really gave me the confidence/self-esteem boost I needed. She told me to keep my eyes and ears open for any opportunities that peek my interest. We have only spoke to each other about four times, but she said that she could tell that I had a special something about me. Something that made me stand-out amongst the crowd. I of course asked her what she thought that something was, but she couldn't put it into words. She thought I was very personable and relatable. She made me feel good, regardless of how she felt about my teaching goal. I really want to be an Elementary Art Teacher, do they even have those anymore?

Special Lunch Dates

Being able to have lunch with friends during the weekdays is a great benefit to being unemployed. I've had lunch with Jason a couple of times. I had lunch with another past Renegade a couple of weeks ago, Nick. Jason has mentioned Nick in a few of his entries now, we went to a local dive and eat the best cheeseburgers with a couple of beers, great conservation and great times were had. Nick's been out of a "real" job for a while, he gets steady freelance writing gigs that keep him busy most days.

Today I'm going to meet Jason's mom, Jan, in Columbia for lunch. She's a great lady and I really can't wait. Not getting to see and talk to people during the day really makes these lunch dates that much more significant and that much more needed.

Random Dream Worlds

Dreams can be so far fetched from your reality. How in the world do you even fathom the ideas our dreams contain? It's fascinating to me. Two nights ago I dreamt of all my old friends from High School, some folks that I met up with at my HS Reunion a few years back and others I have not seen in 10 years were present. I can't quite remember the context, but I remember it being bizarre. Last night I dreamt that my dad, mom, sister, some other random handy men, and I had to paint the interior of a Giant Food store to celebrate my grandpa's birthday (who has passed away in reality). Very strange. How in the world do our minds come up with this stuff. It's really crazy to me. I have so many obstacles approaching in my real life like teaching or getting my next photo gig. You'd think one of these current dilemmas would haunt my dreams, but no, they are all completely random. It's just crazy to think about, but completely fascinating.

GrandBob and Grandma

During my families visit I got to witness my parents play the grandparent roles. They were so affectionate with the kids, it was the most precious thing to witness.

Blake is drawn to his GrandBob, that's my dad's new nickname, and it's so cute. Mom becomes a kid again and plays with them both for hours. I really feel having these new additions to their life has brought out the absolute best in them both.

They are in the process of looking for a new house near Kerri and the kids. I'm so jealous that they will soon be able to see them grow up day by day. But, I'm also very happy for them. Kerri's going to have babysitters right near by which is fantastic. Too bad Jason and I aren't the biggest fans of Florida. We'll visit of course, but living there is out of the question. GrandBob and Grandma you are the most loving grandparents, Kaiden and Blake couldn't have ask for better.

Getting the Credit You Deserve

Sometimes nothing feels better than getting recognition for a job well done, especially when that credit comes from people who understand just what it took to realize your accomplishment. My Mom got to have that experience last night, and I got to witness it.

After teaching in the Montgomery County Public School system for 13 years, and after a an exemplary professional career that started back in 1969 (I'm pretty sure that's what she said) my Mom is retiring. Last night the school system honored all of its 2009 retirees with a ceremony and reception. Luminaries and high-ranking officials from inside the organization, including the school superintendent and the county executive, showed up to honor the "graduates." Like any good commencement each retiree walked the stage as their name and position was announced, shook hands with the notables, and received a nice leaded glass trophy inscribed with the year of their retirement. Mom was very much touched by the whole occasion.

She's had a stellar career, with nothing but high marks and piles of praise from her colleagues, principals, parents and students. Until the last two years or so, she'd never gotten any sort of negative feedback about her teaching skills. Then a new, young principal, wet behind the ears and seemingly vacant in-between, started at her school. Ageist and determined to cut budget he began persecuting the older, more expensive teachers, trying to force early retirement. I'm not exaggerating at all when I say that he made my Mom's work life hell, with constant badgering, negative reviews, and horribly unrealistic expectations and demands. It was a war, and it strongly took its toll on Mom, mentally and physically.

Many times she considered taking early retirement just to put an end to the torturous days and undue insults her principal inflicted on her. A lesser person would have folded, and some of her colleagues did, unfortunately. But Mom was determined to follow her plan and retire when she wanted to, not when some pip-squeek megalomaniac with a Napoleon complex wanted. And, more than anything else, she wanted to make sure that his persecutions didn't affect her students' education. So she stuck it out, and as of this coming Wednesday, she'll be a retired teacher able to stand tall knowing she did her best her entire career. She weathered her adversities, kept her integrity and honor intact, and turned out thousands of students better prepared than they may have been otherwise for having had my Mom as a teacher.

Congratulations, Mom. I'm proud of you.

Houseguests

Kerri and Allen's visit has been really great. It's nice having other people around the house to spend time with. Last night, on a whim, Allen and I went out and got two dozen crabs from a place literally right around the corner from us (we can walk there, which is excellent for us and dangerous for our wallets.) Plus Kerri got a Mojito recipe from the waitress at Miss Shirley's when we'd been there the day before for brunch. She whipped up a batch, we set up a table in the backyard, sipped our beverages and had a feast while the kids ran around in the neighbor's scrubby yard looking for worms and bugs. The weather was perfect, the company was top choice...it was a great evening.

The value* of having a place of your own can be measured by how much you can share it with other people. I think that's what makes a house a home. Having company and houseguests adds a layer of warmth and memories to a house that wouldn't otherwise exist. Stated more esoterically, reality is based on each person's perception of it. The more your home exists in the minds and memories of other people the stronger a claim on existence your home has. It's stake in the realm of human experience gets larger each time it's shared with other people, and that, in a weird way, validates its existence.

That's probably all mumbo jumbo. But one thing's certain. We had a great time with Kate's whole family this weekend, and we hope to see Kate's parents, Kerri, Allen and the kids again sooner rather than later.


*Emotional value...it would be great if Kerri, Allen and Kate's parent's time here added to our resale value, but unless it's Brad and Angelina that visits you, or a magical leprachaun, I think that's unlikely.

Everyone Arriving Safely

Kate's family is here, after some minor hiccups. Kerri and Allen's flight was delayed a bit, and then forced to sit on the tarmac for about 25 minutes due to lightening. Kate's parents drove up from Myrtle Beach uneventfully. I'm sure plenty of other family has come into town for Kate's cousins wedding and I hope and suspect that their travels have all been successful as well.

I know that, statistically, none of this is unexpected. Most people get where they're going most of the time without event. But that doesn't mean you can't be thankful that this time wasn't any different than every other time, and that outcomes were favorable. And be thankful to live in a country where you ride the positive end of the statistical curve more often than the other end.

Looking forward to a great visit with the fam, and a fun time at the wedding reception tonight. Here's to wishing all positive things for Joe and Kaitlyn!

Another Case of Extremes

There's almost nothing better, after a long day of sweating and getting coated in dirt and plaster dust, than taking a shower and getting off all the grit. It's another case of extremes amplifying each other. You don't really appreciate getting clean until you've been really, really grimy. I'll give a shout out to my peeps in the middle ages. They know what I'm talking about.

And speaking of extremes, we made so much progress on the house this weekend. It really finally feels like a home, and not a constant construction zone. And we appreciate the difference. A lot. If any of you ever want to take a look and come hang out for a while, shoot us an email. It's an open invitation (except to you readers we don't know — you'll need to pass a two-hour screening process and a thorough background check before entering the premises. Please bring an exhaustive family tree, cross-referenced with disease and crime histories...and be welcome.)

Our first visitors will be arriving this Wednesday. Kate's parents, sister, brother-in-law and two nephews are coming into town. Can't wait, guys!

Anticipation of Family

I can't wait to see my family in a week. Like I've mentioned they are coming for Joe (my cousin) and Kaitlyn's wedding. Kerri, the kids, and Allen are staying with us. The house is coming along pretty smoothly. We will have most of it done by the time they get here Wednesday night. I just can't wait to see them all. The boys have gotten so big, both are talking like crazy. I'll probably have a similar entry when they actually get here, but first the anticipation is my positive. I also can't wait to see my mom and dad. I miss them so much, it's going to be wonderful. They finally get to see the life Jason and I have created in Baltimore.

Perfect Slumber

I love sleeping, especially when I feel completely content with my day and have little to no stress. This perfect sleep usually comes on the weekends.

I used to take naps on the couch when I still lived with my parents, and I would have the most lucid dreams. I would always know I was sleeping. I would see rats or something crawling all over the floor around me, but since I knew I was hallucinating, I would think it was really cool and trippy as opposed to being grossed out or scared out of my mind. I don't seem to do that much anymore, probably cause napping usually doesn't fit into my lame adult schedule. I do enjoy a good nights sleep, though. I've always been a very heavy sleeper. I became even more so when I lived on 1st ave in the East Village, except for the nights I would hear rats in the kitchen, real rats, not hallucinations. Those were pretty restless nights.

I could sleep 12 hours a night if I never set an alarm clock. If I don't set an alarm on the weekends I can sleep till noon. I feel really lucky to be able to do this. Lately I've been having really interesting dreams, too.

All the mom's reading this right now are saying "those days will end the second you bring a child into your life." I know you're all right about that, so in the meantime I am just going to revel in the amazing beauty sleep I can get today. Sleep tight everyone.