Short But Saucy

What do you get when you combine onion, yellow bell pepper, yellow squash, portabello mushrooms and broccoli, sauteed in olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper until nicely carmelized, with spinach thrown in at the last minute (and a splash of the spiced water the spinach wilted in), added to ground turkey and fresh sweet Italian sausage, carbernet marinara and vodka sauce, with a handful of chopped walnuts?

A very long run-on sentence and a fly-by-the-seat-your-pants, kick-your-tongue-in-the-ass good pasta sauce. It's why pasta was created, and far be it from us to deny the pasta.

It's meals like this that make eating leftovers four nights straight a pleasure.

Lunch Within Walking Distance

To clarify, lunch within walking distance refers to me walking to my food. Not the other way around. I know it's easy to make the mistake. But generally speaking you won't find lunch walking your way unless it's being carried by a delivery person. Granted at some point in your meal's evolution it may been self-motive, but generally having food deliver itself at that stage requires more of a time and a mess commitment before eating than most people are willing to make. Not to mention lunch still on four legs is probably less than enthusiastic about taking the leap onto your plate and would, given the chance, run the opposite direction instead of delivering itself into your waiting, hungry belly.

My office is tucked away in an industrial park, separated by at least a five minute drive from every eating establishment in the area. Until recently a quick lunch meant either bringing yourself, or not coming to work. Finally a little deli opened up just up the block from us, less than five minutes away by foot. It is so nice not always having to hop in the car, fight with traffic lights and lightrail trains (the path between Renegade and most restaurants is crossed three times by tracks) anytime you need food.

I don't go out to eat that much anymore, having Sandwich Club to care for most of my and my compatriot's lunch needs. But on our off weeks, which seem to come more frequently since Kate left the group, I like being able to walk to a quick lunch. Especially now that the weather's getting nice. Even if it's not that good, which it's not. Nothing special, at least. But it's early in their history. Hopefully the menu and the food will improve with time.

Free Food

Here's a shocker for anyone that knows me. I love free food. Picnics. Grocery store samples. Broken vending machines. Any sort of free food is fair game. It doesn't even have to taste good, as long as there's no attached cost. Flavor is more of a bonus than a requirement. As long as the comestible adds some sort of nutrition into my system and takes up room in my stomach, I'll take it.

I think part of the reason that flavor is unimportant is that free food always tastes better than its comparable "for fee" counterparts. Cost is a burden on flavor realization, apparently. Lift that restriction and a food's full flavor profile emerges.

Am I a bum? I don't think so. I'm perfectly willing to pay for my meals when necessary. And I generally do. But when food is shared with the group on a kitchen table at the office, or arrayed out at a picnic or barbecue, I'm reduced to jelly. Which I would eat if I were free.

Late Night at "The Bell"

Saw "Watchmen" tonight. Loved it. It was extremely faithful to the novel and did a wonderful job bringing it to life. If you've read the novel you have to see the movie. But that's preaching to the converted. For those of you who either haven't read the novel or didn't know it existed, see the movie. Don't listen to what other people are saying (if they don't agree with me.) See the movie and form your own opinion. But don't go in expecting "The Incredible Hulk" or "Spiderman." It isn't remotely your standard superhero movie. Bring popcorn, soda, and an open mind.

But "Watchmen" isn't the topic for tonight, though I was tempted. It seemed a little to "on the nose." I wanted to talk about something a little "meatier". Something you can really sink your teeth into. Something with salsa...at 2:30 in the morning.


I don't know why, but whenever I'm out late, especially if I haven't had dinner (tonight we dined on movie popcorn and Cherry Coke) I desperately crave Taco Bell. It's the Taco Bell Curve. The bottom left shows a low desire for crappy Mexican food early in the day. This sharply increases after 11 PM, reaching it's zenith at around 2 AM. It quickly drops off from there, usually because of unconsciousness.

The big question is, "Why is this a positive thing?" Taco Bell is hardly good for you, though better than say Mustard Gas. It's a fattening, nutritionally vacant, quick drying stomach concrete. It often leaves you feeling worse than before you ate it.

Why would you want to put that in your stomach? Because it's delicious, at 2 AM. Because, that late at night, you're already abusing your body. A little extra punishment is welcome, almost as a penance for your earlier irresponsibilities.

Whatever. It doesn't matter. I crave it.

Food...on a Stick

I'm not sure why but food mounted on wooden sticks tastes better. Steak. Delicious. Steak on a Stick...delicious squared. Cheesecake. Not bad. Cheesecake on a Stick...transendent.

Kate and I, along with her Mom, sister and two nephews went to the Florida State Fair today. Along with camels, giraffes, pigs, goats, rabbits, chickens and entire herds of cattle we found that the tradition of skewering food at fairs has survived since the days of the Renaissance.

Okay, probably not. I've watched many hollywood blockbusters, so I know that people centuries ago were not shy about eating with their hands. Sticks would have been unnecessary. The practice of running food through is likely new. But regardless, Renaissance Fairs are the granddaddy of skewered food venues. There you can get steak, sausage, cheesecake, meatballs, fried pickles, chocolate-covered fruit, cheese, and more that I know I'm forgetting, all mounted on sticks for easy eating.

I'm not suggesting that we adopt this practice year round. The novelty of wrapping relatively small hunks of food around wooden rods and then overpaying for them only works when it's enjoyed infrequently. Plus, skewering a quart of shrimp lo mein is very difficult.

Pasta, Italian for "Hot Damn That's Good!"

You're on a deserted island, alone, shipwrecked far from civilization. Except for the full kitchen located inexplicably on the southern beach. If the ample pantry, located down the hall from the wine cellar, could only contain one food, what would it be?

For me, as long as I had plenty of sauce to go with it, I would choose pasta. It's, bar none the world's most perfect food. It's easy to prepare, cheaper than the water you boil it in (in Baltimore City), and is good with pretty much anything dumped on top of it. I'm just as happy with a labored-over, home-cooked sauce as I am with a can of Chunky brand Chicken Mushroom Chowder glopped on top. Pasta takes the ordinary and makes it...not as ordinary.

Cold or hot, drenched or dry, it doesn't matter. The mouth feel is the same, which is what pasta nuts are after. It's the only food I can think of where shape is just as important as content. Same stuff, different shape, vastly different experience. It's the ultimate tactile flavor-delivery system. By itself it's good, but load it up with passengers, and it's still good, but now it's also great. So try some of your favorite pasta today!

This message brought to you by Chunky brand Chicken Mushroom Chowder.

The Ethnic Buffet is My Temple

If neanderthals, roasting a freshly killed elk over an open fire was the beginning of humanity's trek toward gastronomic greatness, then the buffet is the end of the journey.  The buffet, as a concept, is the purest form of eating, entwining mankind's biological and social necessities into one moment of perfect fulfillment.   In fact, I believe the buffet is the ultimate expression of human freedom.  A perfect representation of the central irony of human existence; we are free to choose our path, but have no control over which paths present themselves.

But the buffet in general exists solely to support its most evolved form, the ethnic buffet.  "Buffet" is simply a framework, a set of principles, a philosophy of eating, a shadow of its own potential.  The ethnic buffet is a realization of the promise "buffet" makes with humanity.  While it has many manifestations, Chinese, Indian, Japanese, Mexican and Italian (listed in order of importance) there is an inherit sameness.  An ethnic buffet is to buffets in general as humanity is to all lower life forms.  A fulfillment of an eons long evolutionary promise which began when the first multi-cellular creature digested one of its contemporaries.

I may be waxing a bit overly romantic, but I have to say that a good Chinese or Indian buffet is kryptonite to me.  Kate and I rode past one today, and though I'd never entered that particular restaurant, I knew it as I'd know a parent I'd never met.  The thread that binds all ethnic cuisines, and chokes the life out of boring American food, is an anchor for the hungry soul seeking nourishment.

I'm doing it again.  Man I want some all-you-can-eat Lo Mein right now.

My First Positive

I love comfort food, so much that I started the New Year off with making a home cooked meal of meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. May this year be filled with more and more delicious home cooked meals for me and my loved one to share. For anyone who's curious I got the meatloaf recipe from Paula Dean and the potatoes are made with heavy cream, butter, garlic powder, salt, pepper and Dijon Mustard. Everything was absolutely yummy!