Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Chunky Monkey Junkie

Chunky Monkey is the greatest ice cream flavor ever, opposable-thumbed hands down. If it's proof that I'm be further down the evolutionary ladder than some of my brethren, so be it, but I share a strong affinity with monkeydom for the humble banana. Bananas make just about everything better (except for Banana Laffy Taffy...I'm not sure where they went wrong, but I remember it tasting like six month old bananas injected with embalming fluid*), including ice cream and all ice cream derivatives (whatever those are.)

Oh sweet flavors of the jungle. Your subtle banana, your boisterous chocolate, your nutty...nuts. It's as if all three of you grew on one single, magnificent plant, the Chalmana Tree, ancient Bearer of Dessert to the native peoples of Brazil, celebrated for centuries as both god and snackshop.

We thank you for your blessings, Chalmana. May your monkey be chunky, your cream ever-icey, and your calories easily burned.

*I don't remember that specific flavor, to be honest. I just remember it was bad, as bad as I'd imagine a rancid, embalmed banana would taste.**

**Can something be both embalmed and rancid? The first is supposed to prevent the second. Then imagine how bad that taffy was, a flavor that created logical impossibilities and broke physical laws.

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